Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Bellies, Birthdays and Boys. And Bewilderment.

Five years ago today, I was gargantuan.

Like seriously GARGANTUAN.

I weighed more than I ever had in my whole entire life.  I weighed more than my husband had in his whole entire life.  I was FULL O' BABIES.

Note:  The below picture was taken in December of 2006.  TWO MONTHS before I gave birth to the twins. 

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Sidebar:  Aw, look at Ashley!  She was such a little squirt.  (I hope somebody helped her out of that bucket because lord knows I wasn't moving my behind off that couch any time soon.)

Anyways, I tried to find a picture of me further along with the twins to show you all.  And yes, I found a few.  BUT GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY, I looked terrible those last couple of months.   Yeah, yeah, everybody says that.  With me, it's true.  Obviously there wasn't much I could have done about the whale belly.  And yes, no clothes fit me, let alone cute clothes.  But could somebody have please passed me a hairbrush?  Or a mirror?  Yikes. 

SO, needless to say, none of those photos will be making their debut on the world wide web anytime soon.  The above photo will have to do.  And let me just say the fact that it cuts out my entire facial/cranial area weighed heavily (heh heh, heavily) in my decision to post it.

ANYWAYS.  Now that we've established I was hugely pregnant five years ago today, I can get to the point of this post.  Which is that my baby boys are turning five years old tomorrow.  Five!!!!!!

How can this be?

How is it possible to go from this...

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...to this...

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...in just five short years?  If somebody can explain it to me, I'm all ears.

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Sunday, January 29, 2012

I'm Not Ready For This

So, I've been thinking a lot lately.  About my life, about motherhood, about where I want to be in 20 years. 

I think part of this was inspired by a conversation Ashley and I had a couple weekends ago. 

My friend (and awesome neighbor) Heather and her daughter Marlee popped by and asked Ashley to go do a little shopping with them at Justice.  Ashley *adores* Marlee because Marlee is older and also totally super cool.  Ashley was SUPER excited.  Then somehow Heather and I decided I would go too, because I'm always up for a Justice shopping spree.  Especially when the entire store is 40% off, boo-yah!

We agreed to be ready to go in 15 minutes.  But then while I was brushing my hair, Ashley came to see me in the bathroom very quiet and shy.

I said, "What's wrong, honey?"  And she said, "Mommy, I don't want to tell you because it will make you really, really sad."

I said, "Uh oh," and was thinking she hit one of her brothers or something.  But that wasn't it.

"Just tell me, honey.  What is it?"

She looked down at the floor and laid it out for me as gently as she could.  "Mommy, I wanted to go to Justice with Marlee and Heather by myself."

Ugh.  I gotta say, it hurt.  A lot.  6 years old and already disinviting me to things!

I understand why.  I do, I do.  But oh, I'm not ready for this stage.  I'm not.   

And you know what was worse was how I reacted.  I laid on the guilt, big-time.  What can I say, being passive-agressive is my super power.

So yeah, it got me thinking.  About how I need to get myself in check for the next time something like this happens.  I don't want to be a guilt-imparting mother.  At least not about stupid stuff like this - I need to save it up for talks about drinking and speeding and how she doesn't visit me enough in the nursing home. 

And it also got me thinking about how as important as this mothering business is, it is just as important that I don't lose myself in the process.  One day - before I know it, actually - Ashley and the boys are going to be grown up, living their own lives, making their own friends, having their own relationships, dreaming their own dreams.  And I am going to be on the outside looking in.  That's just the way it works, I guess.

And it feels like it's already starting.  

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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Siri and Me

So, I got an iPhone 4s a month or so ago from my work.  I was so EXCITED.  And one of the things I was the most excited about was having access to Siri, my very own personal assistant.

HOWEVER.  Siri and I are having a bit of a personality conflict.

(It's not me, it's her.)

Like the other day, when I tried to call my parents.

Siri:  What can I help you with?

Me:  Call Mom and Dad.  (This is how I have my parents' home phone listed in my contacts - MomandDad.)

Siri:  Which mom?  Mom or Mom and Dad?  (Mom is my mom's cell phone.)

Me:  Mom and Dad.

Siri:  Which mom?  Mobile or work?

Me:  No, I said Mom and Dad.

Siri:  Okay, Megan.  Calling Mom, mobile.

Me:  NO!  (I hang up and try again.)

Siri:  What can I help you with?

Me:  Call Mom and Dad.

Siri:  Which mom?  Mom or Mom and Dad?

Me:  Mom and Dad.

Siri:  Would you like me to remember that Mom and Dad is your mother?

Me:  Uh, yes.

Siri:  Got it, Megan.  Mom and Dad is your mother.

Me:  Great.  Call my mother.

Siri:  Which mother?  Mom or Mom and Dad?

Me:  Oh.My.God.

Siri:  I don't see "God" in your address book.  Should I look for businesses by that name?

I think I might need to fire her.

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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Stop the Diem

The boys have Kindergarten Round-Up tomorrow morning.

Um, WHAT!?!?!?

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I may just skip town with them instead.  If we keep heading west maybe they'll stay preschoolers forever.
   
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Friday, January 20, 2012

It's Alive! Sorta.

Yes, I am still alive.

You know the drill.  Work has been kicking my arse.  Also, I've finally accepted the fact that I cannot stay up later than 10:30 p.m., which is putting a crimp in my blogging time.

Maybe I will have to get up early and start writing in the morning.  The horror!  The horror!

Anywhoo, if you've missed me, you can check out a guest post I wrote for Nicole over at her new site, My Everything Else (she wrote formerly  at Twins for the Show). 

Go over, leave a comment, and let me know your user name if you want to play words with friends with me!!  And follow Nicole while you're at it - her blog is awesome!

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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Political Incorrectness: It's What's for Dinner

I called Scott the other day on my way home from work.

Me: Hey, what are you making for dinner tonight?

Scott: Fajitas.

Me: Ay yi yi yi yi yi yi! Awesome.

Scott: Were you just being Mexican or Indian?

Me: Uh, I am celebrating fajitas. Clearly I am being Mexican.

Scott: Well, it sounded Indian.

Me: What!? That was totally Mexican. Now if I was being Indian, I would have said Yi yi yi yi yi! See the subtle difference? One begins with an A and the other begins with a Y.

Scott: There is no Y in the Indian alphabet.

Me: Don't question my Indian knowledge, I am an expert on it.

Scott: Name two Indian tribes other than the Omaha and the Cherokee.

Me: That's easy - the Sioux and the Blackhawks.

Scott: One of those is a hockey team.

Me: Oh. Well, anyways, fajitas sound good.

I think I need to work on my culture awareness skills. And also my accents.

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Thursday, January 5, 2012

Greetings and Salutations

So, Scott is a stay-at-home dad. Well, he was until we got a letter in the mail today addressed as follows:

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His inner Neanderthal is offended.

It probably doesn't help that I bought him a t-shirt that says "Trophy Husband" on it for Christmas.

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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Christmas in Images

Because it was all just a blur of wrapping paper, anyways. :-)

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Hope you all had a lovely holiday season!  Now on to 2012!
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