Friday, October 28, 2011

A Second Open Letter to the St. Louis Cardinals

Dear St. Louis Cardinals,

Hoo-boy, that was a crazy night last night.  But you won!  Hey, good job.


I know you all must be tired.  (I'm tired of baseball, too.)

But let's just win one more, okay?  One more, for my hubby.

In case you forgot - I've shared him with you all summer.  And fall.  And part of the spring too.  So, you know, I deserve this.

(Yes, I know he's also seeing the Nebraska Cornhuskers on the side.  Believe me, I have a strongly worded letter out to them, too.)

So anyways.  Good luck tonight and all that!  Hope it's not too cold out there.  Keep your shirts on.  Make sure you catch all the balls.  Run fast and don't miss any plates.  Hit the ball places where the other team isn't.  Try not to step on any squirrels.

But really.  No matter what happens, I guess I'll see you in the spring.  I always do.




Monday, October 24, 2011

An Open Letter to the St. Louis Cardinals


Dear St. Louis Cardinals,

Hello there.  Please win a game soon.  Otherwise my husband's head might explode, and well, I like his head.  It still has all its hair, which is saying something for a guy in his mid-30's.  Granted, it's a little grey, but who's to blame for that now, Cardinals, hmmm? 


Just win a game.  Maybe tonight, if there's time.  Or the next time you play.

Then again, it would be nice to have my TV back.  Hmm.




Sunday, October 23, 2011

Berry Bad Idea

I want to have another baby *just* so I can buy this Halloween costume from Old Navy.  ACK.

I think I just spontaneously ovulated.


Friday, October 21, 2011

Squirrels with Mushroom Sauce

Scott and I have implemented a monthly meal plan in our house (inspired by the lovely Katherine over at The Katherine Wheel) - more on that process later!

It's been fabulous -  for me and Scott.  The kids are still in mourning over the loss of their favorite dinner staple of "yellow pasta" (boxed penne with butter and parmesan).  What can I say, they've grown very attached over the past few years months.

Anyhoo, the other night we had frozen chicken patty sandwiches.  Nothing fancy, but hey, something different!  The boys were moaning and groaning about it.  "I no like chicken sandwiches!"  "I no want eat chicken sandwiches!"  "I want yellow pasta!"

Scott finally had enough and yelled "For God's sake, it's a giant CHICKEN NUGGET!"

(They didn't buy it.)

Ashley also had an epiphany during that same dinner.  "Hey mommy!  Did you know there's the chicken at the farm and then the chicken that we eat!  Two kinds of chicken!  With the same name!"

Maybe nicer mothers would have shielded her a bit longer from the cold reality that the chicken from the farm IS the chicken that we eat.  But I just laid it out there for her.  She took it well.

So well, in fact, that I didn't shield them the next night either when they started complaining about lasagna.  Lasagna, for crying out loud!  It is noodles, cheese and sauce.

Aidan said "I don't like basagna."  I said "Yes, you do, it's yellow pasta.  There's yellow pasta in it!"  But Aidan held strong.  "I just eat the yellow pasta part."  And then he picked off the cheese.

What?!  What kid refuses melted cheese?*  Craziness.

Anyway, I got frustrated, so I announced "You guys don't even know how lucky you are.  I watched a TV show last night about zombies and the only thing the people found to eat one night was SQUIRRELS and MUSHROOMS."

The kids looked horrified.  Scott gave me a stern look.  But I was undeterred.

"Mommy, why did they eat squirrels and mushrooms?" asked Ashley.

"Because the zombies took over the world and the people were hiding in the woods and the only thing they could find to eat was squirrels," I replied.

"And mushrooms," added Ashley.

"Yes," I said.  "And I'm not even going to tell you what the zombies ate."

Scott looked at me really sternly now.

"Mommy, what did the zombies eat!?!?" asked all the kids in unison.

I ignored Scott's piercing gaze and blurted out "They ate.....the people!!!"

"Ewwwwwwwww!!" they all said.

"Yup," I said.  "So you guys really should not complain about lasagna."

They were all quiet for a moment.  But then Ashley turned to me with wide eyes and whispered..."But mommy...what did the squirrels eat?"

Not even phased.


*The same kid who won't eat ketchup.  KETCHUP.  I didn't think it was possible for a kid to not like ketchup until I had the boys.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

10 Minutes in the Life

Last night I was chipping toothpaste off the counter in the kids' bathroom (do they make a chemical for cleaning that?  Toothpaste-dissolve -o'matic or something?  I should invent it).  The kids were running amok in the hallway getting pajamas on.

I poked my head out the bathroom door and said "SERIOUSLY!!  We are having a tutorial on toothpaste squeezing tonight!"  Then I was back to chipping.  I thought about going downstairs to get a butter knife but the effort seemed too high, so I continued using one of Ashley's broken plastic headbands to chip chip chip away.

Then I heard the kids saying "Speaker 1, come in!"   "What, Speaker 2?"  "Speaker 3 is here!"

I looked out the door again.  They were using calculators from the Target dollar aisle as walkie-talkies.  Aidan, who was Speaker 1, began giving instructions to Ashley, who was Speaker 3.

Aidan:  Speaker 3, I need you to call all the bad guys!

Ashley:  What?

Aidan:  Call all the bad guys, Speaker 3!

Ashley:  Call them what?

Aidan:  Call all the bad guys so they be dead ALL WEEKEND.

Me:  I think he's saying kill all the bad guys, Speaker 2.

Owen:  Hey, I Number 2!

Me:  Heh.  Number 2.

Then I tried to talk them into arresting the bad guys instead of killing them, because seriously, what is it with all this violence.  Boys.  I swear they're born with built in finger guns and sound effects.

Then I was back to chipping.  Ashley came in and asked me for a comb.  "The boys want me to do their hair!" she said. "In the drawer," I said.

Two seconds later Owen ran in.  "MOMMY!  I NO WANT ASH-EE DO MY HAIR!!!!"

"Ashley, don't do the boys' hair."

"BUT MOMM-EE, I WANT ASH-EE DO MY HAIR!!!" hollered Aidan.

"Ashley, don't do Owen's hair."


Owen grumbles in.  "I want you to do my hair, Mommy."

I said "Okay, dude, but trust me, Ashley's really good at hair."

Owen grumbled out.  "Okay, Ash-ee, you can do my hair."

Chip chip chip.

"But Owen, I'm done doing hair.  Now I'm playing with Hello Kitty," says Ashley.


"Ashley, for God's sake do Owen's hair!" I holler back.

"Mommy, I don't think these pa-jam-jams fit me!" giggles Aidan as he shows me his exposed belly.

"Just don't raise your arms up," I reply.

"Mommy, I need to go poop," says Owen.

"Thanks, lovely to know."

"Mommy, look at my hair!" says Aidan.  He's now pulled his pajama shirt up to his hairline so he looks like a four year old nun wearing a Cars 2 habit.

Ashley starts laughing.

Aidan starts spinning.

Owen starts pooping.

I stop chipping.


"But Mommy, I want to play on your iPad!"

"But Mommy, I want to watch iCarly!"

"But Mommy, I POOPING!"

But my tank was empty.  So they went in their rooms.

And I went downstairs, exhausted.

Then I watched a Walking Dead marathon.  You know, I really sympathized with those zombies.  I really did.      


Monday, October 17, 2011

Good thing I don't do beauty pageants...

Do you ever wish you were really, really good at just one thing??? Like singing, or writing, or dancing, or soccer or whatever. Like REALLY freaking good. Not like "Oh yeah, she's good at taking pictures" but like, "OMG, she just won the Pulitzer Prize for photography!" good.

Well. I think we are all really, REALLY good at something. But most of us never figure out what that one thing is. Lack of opportunity, time, money, who knows. Like you could secretly be a whiz at Native American traditional dancing but you were born in Austria so not much Native American dancing going on. Or you could be fabulous at lacrosse but you never picked up a lacrosse stick or net or however you play it so how would you ever know????

My one thing is playing Bejeweled Blitz on facebook. Fun, yes, but not very practical as talents go, unfortunately. If only my score of 998,350 in this week's tournament could be converted into dollars... Then I could retire early and spend time cultivating a less lame talent.

Oh well. At least I'm not this girl.


Sunday, October 9, 2011

Family Pictures

I took the kids out to a local park today and tried to get some Christmas card pics.  288 pictures later...I have two I can choose from.


But I got lots of of awesome outtakes and single shots.  It's just that group picture that is so elusive - you know the one.  The one with 3 kids, all with normal smiles, all looking at the camera, no boogers, no underwear showing, etcetera etcetera and so on and so forth.  It's like the Big Foot of photography.

Whatevs.  I didn't post the two finalists below cause I gotta save something for the Christmas card.  But I loved these ones, too.

Ah, the fall foliage.













P.S.  I'm exhausted.  Taking pictures of three children by yourself is no easy task.  I think I need a personal assistant.


Friday, October 7, 2011

CPS Stands for CuPcakeS, Right?

A few weeks ago I took the day off from work.

Well, I didn't really take it "off" per se, since Scott was going out of town that day and I was running around like a madwoman with the twins in tow trying to get stuff done.  But still.

We had a million errands to run, but the first one was to the cupcake store to pick up my mom's birthday present: a half dozen gourmet cupcakes.

Yes.  I am the world's best daughter.

We marched in there right when it opened. And because I'm not one of those moms who goes into a cupcake store and won't let her kids have a cupcake....

We had cupcakes for breakfast.



Yes. I am also the world's best mother. 

Unless you're a dentist.  Then you probably wouldn't think so.


Monday, October 3, 2011

Fall Festivities

We went on our annual day trip down to Arbor Day Farm last weekend for some apple picking, corn mazing, hayrack riding, tree adventur-ing, and eating (that last part was mainly pie, caramel apples, plain old apples...mmmmmm). I think the only fall activity we didn't partake in that day was candy-corning.  But no worries - I bought a big bag tonight so we are ON it. 

Pictures or it didn't happen.















If you live within a few hours drive of Nebraska City, you should really check this place out!  We always have a blast, even sans candy corn.