Thursday, September 29, 2011

Fly away, little bird!

So, we all know that I am having a midlife crisis, which has manifested itself in buying feather earrings.

I looooooooove them.

But believe me, I had to DIG for these babies at Forever 21.  You see, all feather earrings are not created equal.

Some are a little too Pocahontas. 

Others are a bit too Cyndi Lauper-esque. 

And some are just too Peacockian.  (Yes, I just made up that word).

The ones I found at Forever 21 fell into the latter category (i.e., I mean Peacockian, in case you get confused by "former" vs. "latter" - which I do.)


But I could see they had potential.

So when I got home from Baltimore, I asked Scott for his wire clippers and performed a little earring surgery.

And I am loving the results.



I really want to wear them this weekend with a sweater poncho thing I bought, too.  Bordering on Pocahontas-territory, yes, but I think I can pull it off.  Or maybe that's just the mid-life crisis talking.

(At least I didn't get a feather tattoo.)


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Blogging From 30,000 Feet

I am literally in a plane right now, on the Internet, on my iPad. Wireless on a plane is waaaaaay better than snakes on a plane. Or so I imagine.

Bought the feather earrings today. (Yup. Definitely having a midlife crisis.)

No one is sitting next to me. It's sooooooo nice. In case you didn't know, I'm kind of antisocial. Chit chatting on airplanes is so not my bag, baby. BUT. I will say this...on my last flight, there were two ladies sitting in the row behind me who were having a FABULOUS conversation. I kind of wanted to be sitting in their row because they sounded like they were having so much fun. (Of course I was totally eavesdropping. I don't like socialness for myself but I really enjoy it on other people.) They were talking about their kids, grandkids, significant others, their lives growing up, and on and on and on.

Anyway, I got a little tense when one of the ladies (who was middle aged) mentioned to the other lady (who was elderly) that her "significant other" was actually a woman. And I worried that the older lady might not like that, and my vision of these two ladies meeting on a plane and becoming BFFs forever and ever and ever would not come to fruition. But then the older lady said "Relationships are relationships. Love is love." and on went the conversation.


Boy, this post is random. I guess that's what happens when you blog live at a very high altitude.


Monday, September 26, 2011

Bullets in Baltimore

1.  Here I am in Baltimore...learning about the law.

2.  The conference center/hotel is connected to a giant mall.  Took a little side trip to Forever 21 today and bought a dress that's too short and too tight.  But sometimes you just gotta, you know?  I might go back tomorrow to buy some earrings with feathers.  Maybe I am having a mid-life crisis.

3.  I've eaten at the Cheesecake Factory twice in two days.  My heart is probably going to explode.

4.  I keep saying dumb things to strangers.  Like "I love the area of law I practice in because you can actually find answers to things."  No, you can't.  There's never an answer to anything.  Dumb.

5.  I think I got hit on on the plane ride out here.  But then again, I can't really tell anymore.  Maybe he was just being nice to an old lady (me).  Who knows.  Maybe I'll test out the feather earrings on the plane ride home and see if there are any takers.

6.  I still need to buy the crabs.  Might impede on my Forever 21 / feather earring shopping time tomorrow.

7.  They had a taco bar at the cocktail reception tonight after the sessions.  Random, huh?  Who wants to mingle while munching on a taco?

8.  Can you still shop at Forever 21 when you're 35?  Don't answer that.

9.  I called home tonight and talked to Aidan.  I said "I miss you!"  and he said "I know."  Love that kid.

10.  I don't have a tenth thing to say.  But it just feels weird to end at nine, so there you go.


Monday, September 19, 2011

My Mom Went to Baltimore and All I Got Was Crabs

I'm going to Baltimore this weekend for a work conference. Actually, it's more like next week, than next weekend. Details, schmetails.

My kids are excited for me to go so I can buy them presents. Maybe they will miss me.  I'm not sure.

Anyway, last year when I went on this same trip, I bought Ashley a stuffed crab, Owen a telescope, and Aidan one of those bubble globby drippy things. I don't know how else to describe it. Oh,'s a pic:


Anyways, the bubbles were the biggest hit.  So much so that I have been DYING to go back to Baltimore ever since just so I can finally buy Owen and Ashley some dang bubbles.  Seriously, you would have thought I bought Aidan a tap-dancing kitten with polka dots the way that Ashley and Owen overreacted about that thing.  Stuffed crab?  Lame-o.  Telescope?  Whatev.  It was all about the bubbles.  And OMG, did Aidan lord it over them.  I swear, my kids are going to be in therapy until they're 55 dealing with the bubble-purchase fallout.

"Mom said she loved all of us the same...but she only bought Aidan the BUBBLES!!!" 


So, I knew I was going to have to find some bubbles in Baltimore for Owen and Ashley.  But I didn't want to give Aidan the same thing again, mind you.

"Mom said she loved all of us the same...but she bought me the same present TWO YEARS IN A ROW!!!"

So I decided to ask Aidan what he wanted instead.  And he thought about it.  And thought about it.  And then as we were driving home from the pizza place the other night, he said out of the blue: "Mommy, I want a blue crab when you go to that place."

And then my kids subjected me to this conversation.

Me:  You want a blue crab?

Aidan:  Yeah!

Ashley:  Mommy, mommy, I want a crab too!

Me:  What?  I got you a crab last year and you hated it.

Ashley:  Yes, but this year I want a pink crab.

Owen:  I want a GREEN crab!

Me:  What!?  You all have been talking about nothing but bubbles for the past 11 months.

Ashley:  But mommy, now we want crabs.

Aidan:  Yeah, we want crabs!

Owen:  So our crabs can be best friends.

Ashley:  Crabs for all of us!

All:  Crabs!  Crabs!  Crabs!

So I guess that's it.  I'm going to Baltimore and bringing back crabs.  Adding that to the list of things I thought I'd never say before having kids.


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Kindergarten Love

Ashley Belle got a love note from the boy up the street the other day.

It looked kinda like this:

I was outside with the kids playing (well, they were playing.  I was reading and drinking a Diet Coke and "supervising").  The neighborhood kids were over too, including "The Boy."

Ashley threw some rocks in the street and got sent inside for punishment.  She was devastated.  So was The Boy.  I told him Ashley had to go inside now and he was so sad.  He said "But I'll take care of her."

Awwww, I thought to myself.  But I was all business and said, "That's sweet but you'll just have to see her at kindergarten tomorrow, bud."

Ashley moped around the house for awhile.  But then the doorbell rang.  It was The Boy, love note in hand.  He stuck it on her with tape and ran back up to his house.

I should probably be a little worried.  But it helps that The Boy is a tiny little squirt.  And that Ashley is good at throwing rocks.  And that I watched a lot of Boy Meets World episodes when I was growing up.  My very own little Cory and Topanga, sigh.    


Monday, September 12, 2011

My Simple 9/11 Story

I don't have a story about 9/11 that's intriguing to read.  I was just a 25 year old girl, starting my third year of law school, living with my boyfriend in a tiny condo in St. Louis.

I slept in that day since my first class didn't start until the afternoon.  I got up, got ready, and got in my car all without turning on the TV.  Scott was at work - he'd left super early that morning, way before anything happened.

As I was driving to school, I turned on the radio.  It was Howard Stern.  I could tell something had happened in New York to the twin towers, but I couldn't pinpoint the details as Howard and crew had moved on to conjecture and theorizing at that point.  I switched channels, but only found music.

I parked at the law school and went inside.  People swarmed around televisions randomly set up in the common area.  It was very quiet.  On the white board was written "Classes Canceled."  Classes never got canceled.  I couldn't get close enough to the TVs to see what was happening.

I was too afraid to ask anybody.

So I drove home.  Silently, this time.  Now that I knew it was bad - really bad - I didn't want to know yet.

I turned on the TV when I walked inside.

And that's when I knew. 


My cousin posted this picture on Facebook a long time ago of my brothers, my cousins and I on a trip to NY ages ago.  I'm the windblown kid in the back, second from the left.  I remember having this picture taken.  I remember it was windy (clearly).  And cold.  And I remember being absolutely inspired by the New York City skyline.  Even at such a young age I could feel the endless opportunities and excitement and limitless possibilities it evoked.

How it could spark such hatred in a fellow human being is something I will never understand.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Fantasy Everything

My husband told me tonight that I had to sign up for his Fantasy Football league otherwise there would be an odd number of teams and nobody would get to play.

I am not a football person. The extent of my interest in the game involves wearing cute football tee's and eating cheese dip. Otherwise, I am just not interested.

But because I am a good wife, I have agreed to play Fantasy Football this year. Woot. (FYI-I named my team "Forced To Play." And I picked a purple helmet for my avatar because it was the prettiest.)

In other news, I am desperately trying to finish writing an article for work that is sucking my life force out of me pore by pore. And, yes, I'm being dramatic, but good lord you would be too if you had to write about this stuff for a living. Whenever I get tasked with a project like this one I just want to explode out of my body and send a different piece of me to every corner of the world to experience some new exhilarating adventure.

Does anyone else ever feel that way? Maybe minus the exploding part? Bueller?

Anyways, that's why I need to finish this article. So I can stop daydreaming of spontaneously combusting and sending my big toe off to Venice and my elbow to Paris.

Wish me luck.


Sunday, September 4, 2011

Backyard Campfire

Tonight we built a fire in our backyard fire pit and made s'mores with the kids. We sang campfire songs and took turns telling spoooooky stories.

My story was about three kids who went to a spooooooooky house and knocked on the door (knock knock knock) and it creeeeeeeeaked open and the kids went inside and THEN...went to the kitchen and ate jello. The end.

(It was supposed to be much spookier but the kids looked a little freaked. Therefore, I went to their happy place: Jello.)

After my spooooooky tale was over, Aidan said "Hey, mommy, where were the ghosts?" And Ashley looked quite disappointed, so I decided to try again.

"Okay, well the next day one kid went back to the spoooooooooky house and knocked on the door again (knock knock knock) and the door creeeeeeeeaked open and he walked inside. And then the door slammed shut (Slam!)"

(FYI - sound effects are key when telling spooky stories.)

"And then the kid heard someone say 'Woooooooooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!'"

Now the kids looked plain terrified.

"Was it a GHOST?????" shouted Aidan

"Yes, it was a ghost. And it swooped down at the kid and said..."

"I GONNA KILL YOU?????????" shouted Owen.

And I thought, well, good lord, that is much too violent, so I said "No. It said 'Woooooooooould you like to go eat some jello with me?'"

And the kids thought I was totally lame but whatever.

So Ashley took over and told a spooky story about a ghost and witch and vampire party. Aidan went next with a story about a ghost and witch BBQ - slightly different, yet just as terrifying. Then, finally, Owen got some violence in with his spooky story. It involved a really sharp sword and cutting off monster heads. Yikes.

Anyway, it was a fun night. At the end when we were all cozied up, watching the flames flicker out, full from our s'mores, I told the kids, "You guys, you should try really hard to remember this moment for the rest of your lives. I'm gonna count to three and we'll all be quiet and tell ourselves to remember this very moment forever. Ready? One...two...three."

I breathed in the scent of the fire and looked at my husband and darling babies and then up at the stars in the night sky. It was just lovely.

And then somebody tooted.

Which I'll now remember forever. Lovely indeed.


Friday, September 2, 2011

Mommy Trauma

Ashley wouldn't let me walk her in to kindergarten this morning.  She made me drop her off at the fence so she could run in and hang with her buds before school started.

"You don't want me to walk you in?"

"Mommy, it's just that I want to be with my friends."



At least she blew me kisses over the fence as I walked back to my car. 

But still...