Monday, July 25, 2011

Butter Brain

So the other day I was at the grocery store, picking up a few necessary items.  One of which was butter.

We go through butter in this family like water.

Got bread?  Put some butter on it.  Got pasta?  Put some butter on it.  Potatoes?  Butter.  Veggies?  Butter.  Steak?  Butter.  Mmmmmm, butter.

And I don't discriminate.  Butter, margarine...all are welcome at my house.  In fact, we mostly use a little product known as "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter!"  Which seriously, they need to find a new name for that already.  It's time.


I was at the store, picking up some butter.  So I made my way over to the dairy aisle, and reached for my standard two-pack of the good stuff:

And then I paused and noticed this bad boy sitting right next to it:

And I thought to myself..."Why do I always buy the two-pack?  Why not the big daddy butter?"  I mean, we always use all of the butter.  There is no such thing in my vocabulary as too much butter.   

"But what about toast crumbs, Megan?"  I reminded myself.  (Silently, of course.  I don't talk to myself out loud at the grocery store.  Usually.)  "You don't want a bunch of toast crumbs lingering in the precious butter!"

But then again, you can always scrape out the toast crumbs.  Hmmmm.

And then my environmental conscience kicked in.  Wouldn't one giant tub of butter be made out of less plastic than two smaller tubs of butter? 

What to do, what to do...

And then I decided.  One tub of butter it was.  It just felt right.

On Sunday morning, I opened that giant tub of butter and proceeded to make my family a breakfast to die for. Scrambled eggs, fried eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, the works.  I had every burner going.  I was super-mom.  I had one hand scrambling, the other hand flipping, butter being spread, hasbrowns being tended to, and then I saw it.

The lid to the big daddy tub of butter.  Sitting on the burner, right where I'd placed it just a moment ago.  Melting into goo while emitting an eerie yellow smoke. 

And then I remembered why I buy the two-pack.

Butter back-up.  You never want to be without it.



MelissaKell said...

LOL. That's so funny b/c I buy the smaller ones, too, b/c of the lingering toast crumbs in the larger one! But environmentally, you're right! Glad you didn't have a fire. :)

Jen said...

Or, you could learn to not to put the lid on the stove.

Either way.



Barbara Manatee said...

oh no! My mom once put a crock pot (an old one that had 4 'legs') on a hot burner. That crock pot now only has 3 legs and needs a couple trivets or hot pads to sit beneath it to keep it propped up.

BranderPaul said...

You are THREE FRIENDS AWAY from 600 followers. When you hit that, we're going to Red Lobster. Hell, I might get three of my co-workers to sign up just so we can have Crab-Feast. With BUTTER.

championm2000 said...

Thank you for reminding me why I don't cook :-)

Emily said...

Now I finally have a name for the five pounds of butter I seem to have in my fridge at all times. Butter back-up!


Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

I love how you spin something so mundane into a story that I just read with rapt attention! Love it!

I like Jen's idea though...get the lid off the stove, silly!

I hate hate hate toast crumbs...Husband also loves to leave little pieces of broccoli in there...we now use separate butters. Talk about marital issues, huh?