Thursday, February 24, 2011

Deep Thoughts On the Road

As I was driving into work this morning, I saw a driver in the car in front of me realize that he or she missed his or her exit.  This person then swerved onto said exit at the last possible moment and tried to cut off the car that was already driving appropriately in the exit lane, only to realize there was another car in front of that car that would not take kindly to being sideswiped.  So the car just drove in the shoulder of the exit lane, gunning it past the first car, the second car, and then two more cars in front of those cars before finally merging in.

It was crazy. I'm pretty sure I screamed.  Multiple times.

But then I got to thinking.

There are 3 types of drivers in this world, which can all be identified by how they treat an exit.  Or maybe just 3 types of drivers in the U.S.  I've been to Italy and Egypt and I'm not even going to touch how they drive, except to say thank God I am still alive.  Holy cannoli.  And holy whatever Egyptians eat.  (I only ate potatoes while I was there.)

Anyways.

3 types of drivers.  In the U.S.  Identifiable by exit-usage.

1.  People who do what the driver above did.  They miss their exit, they think "To hell with that!" and then they go and TAKE that exit.   These drivers are aggressive.  They may also be playing their radio really loud.  While texting and talking on the phone.  And eating a cheeseburger and putting on makeup.  Or, they may be drunk.

2.  People who miss their exits, and then stop in the middle of the road, waiting for someone to let them in, blocking traffic in the meantime.  These drivers are usually older.  Or from out of state.  Or just lazy.  Often times you can find these same drivers in parking lots, stalking you for your spot near the front of the store instead of parking 3 spots further away so they don't have to walk.

3.  People who miss their exits, then drive to the next exit, turn around and come back the other way.  These drivers are very responsible, upstanding citizens.  They will drive 5mph over the speed limit but not a smidge more, unless they are taking someone to the hospital.  They typically drive a minivan.  Or a Prius.

I'm a #3.  Although sometimes I think it'd be fun to be a #1, minus all of the extra stuff.  To just be wild and free and attack exits with gleeful abandon - it would be so liberating.  Then again, it might not be so good on the old insurance premium.  Damn my #3-ness.  I just can't shake it.

So - what kind of driver are you?  #1, #2, #3 or none of the above?
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21 comments:

Brandy@YDK said...

I'm #3 with a touch of #1. I'll go to the next exit but usually with music playing loudly and/or texting.

Jen said...

I am a #3 but yesterday when I was really, really late to work I was a total #1.

wonderchris said...

#3, and glad to be. Knowing my luck I'd be #1 for a moment and the person I cut off is going to be a knife-wielding psycho that is having a worse day than I am...NO thank you!! I'd much rather take the scenic route. :)

sara said...

#3. #1s make me crazy and #2s make me want to cut a bitch! I seriously can't handle people who are so unaware of their surroundings!!

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I'm a combination of a 2 and 3.

Let me explain - I'm in Johannesburg, where all the aggressive drivers in South Africa live. Seriously :)

You can indicate all you like and WELL in time (number 3 tendencies) and some people will still not let you take the exit. So that's when I nudge my car in and hold up the traffic til I get a bit of a gap and can go.

Welcome to Joburg!

P.S. People in Ireland drive just like us - I felt right at home but the best drivers by far (in the 8 countries I've been in) are those in the UK.

Twingle Mommy said...

In my pre-kiddo days I was a number 1. I drove a big turck and bullied people into letting me over. Now that I have three kids, I'm a number 3. It's funny how quickly my driving changed after having a tiny little baby in the backseat. PLus my mid-sized suv is not as big of a bully as my truck was.

Leighann said...

I'm #3 with some but I drive 10 over. No texting or talking on the phone though cause its illegal where i live

Sarah said...

I'm #3, but like the commentor above me, I drive 10 over. And never on the phone because it's illegal here. And way to dangerous with a kiddo in the car.

Steph said...

I am #3 except for once, just once, when I needed to take one of two exits off the middle of a bridge (there's an island in the middle if that makes sense). Each exit is on the opposite side of the bridge and I was on the wrong side. When I realized it, I cut only 6 lanes to the other side, because if I did what a #3 would typically do, I would have had to pay another $5 to get off the bridge, turn around and come back again. My screaming in-laws in the back seat were so unappreciative of my frugality. Usually old Chinese people will pick up a penny off the street, but of course all they do with me is criticize and complain no matter what I do. Hmph.

Holly Ann said...

I am a number 3 now, but to be completely honest, I began as a number 2. I was a scared little teenager.
And my husband is a number 3 when the children and/or I am in the car with him. If he's alone, he's a number 1. He thinks he can hide this from me, but he can't.

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates said...

I'm sad to say #3, especially now that I have kids traveling with me!

Katherine said...

I'm a #3, although I have to say that I've been know to act like a #1. Just once. Or twice...

Mama Jules said...

I'm a #3, but I do have #1 tendencies.

I almost slammed into a moving van that was a #1 the other day, but this morning, I saw a #2. Yes the #2 was old--lol

Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

I am definitely a number 3 and yes I drive a minivan :-)

Jeanette said...

I'm a #3 most of the time and yep I drive a minivan too. I think for me it's the thought of all the little lives sitting in the seats behind me with their bright wide eyes watching me drive that keeps me driving like a responsible citizen.
However, I must admit that on more than one occasion, I did pull a #1. And when I lived in MA, I did it all the time, because everyone there drives super aggressively and you have to join in if you want to survive. :)

Rebecca said...

I'm a #3, but I drive more than 5mph above the speed limit...let's face facts.

I secretly hope that the #1's will get into an accident...horrible, right?

I want to KILL the #2's for putting the rest of us in unnecessary danger.

Kmama said...

I'm a #3, however, I drive about 8 mph above the speed limit at all times. ;-)

gringationcancun said...

I've hardly driven in the past 5 years, but I remember being a number 3! Not so much because I'm responsible... it's more because I am not a very smart driver and I know it, so I have to take extra precautions. haha

Barbara Manatee said...

Usually a #3 with a touch of #1. 5mph over is is more like 10 mph...#2s drive me crazy!!!

Jacqueline said...

You escaped with your life in Egypt?? That means you are blessed! I live in the Middle East and I will tell you NONE of them can drive... My husband, who is Lebanese, is the type that would miss the exit, stop, swear, and back up ON THE HIGHWAY to take the exit.... Oy vey!

Sadia said...

I'm totally a 3, minus minivan. However, you should know that I am so terrified of cars that I learned to drive at age 25. My husband informed me that it was a prerequisite for reproduction in the U S of A.