Sunday, January 30, 2011

Ice Ice Baby, Too Old, Too Old

Something that you may not know about me is that I am not a very "domestic" person.  Yes, I am married.  Yes, I have three children.  Yes, I live in the suburbs.  And yes, I drive a minivan.

But.  I do not get excited about domestic things.  Like Dyson vacuum cleaners.  Or Pottery Barn linens.  Or new siding.  I like take-out, I always forget to spray stain-remover on the kids' clothes before tossing them in the washer, and I hardly ever make the bed. 

However, there is one item in the domestic category of material things that I have always wanted.  One, beautiful item.

A refrigerator with an ice and water dispenser in the door.  Aren't they just luxurious?

So when Scott called me a couple of weeks ago from Lowe's and told me he found a stainless steel refrigerator that was 50% off because it was a floor model, the only thing I asked was, "Does it have a water dispenser?  OH!  Does it make CRUSHED ICE???"  And yes, Virginia, it did.

So now we have a new refrigerator.  And it is gorgeous.

The delivery men told us we'd have to wait awhile before using the ice and water dispenser since we had to cycle through a bucket of ice and a gallon of water so as not to poison ourselves with new refrigerator chemicals.  Or something like that - I stopped listening when Scott explained it.

But was ready.  Scott was the first to use it.  He went over to the fridge with his tall glass, filled it with ice ( unrefined), and then to the brim with clear, filtered, icy cold water.

Except, while he was doing so, he said to me, "Huh.  It kinda sounds like an old man peeing."

And just like that, it was over.  I can never look at it the same way again.  My silver ice and water dispensing dream machine will forever be linked in my mind to an old man with incontinence problems.

Dribble dribble dribble dribble.  Dribble.

Crushed ice?  Try crushed dreams.  Oh, refrigerator - at least you can still keep my Diet Coke cold.  I'll just have to try to hold on to that.



Katherine said...

I'm dreaming of the day that we get a new fridge. Although I'm not exactly sure if I want a water and ice dispenser. I have images of coming downstairs one morning and the water have been stuck in the on position by a G.I. Joe.

Funny in My Mind said...

I can remember my mother's voice screaming out the back door every summer "why doesn't anyone ever fill the ice trays?" of course we always put them back in the freezer with like 2 cubes in them. As long as I can remember, my hubby and I have had a fridge with ice in the door. I never want to go through ice tray he'll like my mom! Forget the pee noises and enjoy!

Funny in My Mind said...

Ice tray hell (darn spell check)

Kmama said...

You so crack me up.

Brandy@YDK said...

we just got a new fancy fridge when we bought our house and LOVE. pee dribble and all.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA that wouldn't stop me :) I'd probably just find getting water that much more amusing.

wonderchris said...

A life without crushed ice isn't a life at all.
Okay, that was a little dramatic, but it really is so nice to have cubed or crushed ice. I think I just wrote a poem, or song lyrics. We should write some not-so domestic songs and take our housewife act on the road. We would ROCK IT!

Rebecca said...

OMG...this is too funny! He totally ruined it for you! Bad husband!!!!

I love crushed ice in the's the BEST!

Salt in Suburbia said...

Laughing, laughing, laughing! So funny I even had my husband read your post. Keep writing and making my day!

Holly Ann said...

Ok, now I know you are a girl after my own heart - did you write about a love of crushed ice and diet coke in one post?! That's it. I will just have to tell even more friends of mine to follow you. :)

Helene said...

Our crushed ice setting doesn't work so I'm seething with jealousy right now!!!

Lauren P. said...

I dream of a water dispenser on the fridge as well... one that locks that is! ;)

Nicole Carpenter said...

Megan, You are such a fantastic writer! I look forward to reading each new blog post. This one did NOT disappoint! Thanks!