Something that you may not know about me is that I am not a very "domestic" person. Yes, I am married. Yes, I have three children. Yes, I live in the suburbs. And yes, I drive a minivan.
But. I do not get excited about domestic things. Like Dyson vacuum cleaners. Or Pottery Barn linens. Or new siding. I like take-out, I always forget to spray stain-remover on the kids' clothes before tossing them in the washer, and I hardly ever make the bed.
However, there is one item in the domestic category of material things that I have always wanted. One, beautiful item.
A refrigerator with an ice and water dispenser in the door. Aren't they just luxurious?
So when Scott called me a couple of weeks ago from Lowe's and told me he found a stainless steel refrigerator that was 50% off because it was a floor model, the only thing I asked was, "Does it have a water dispenser? OH! Does it make CRUSHED ICE???" And yes, Virginia, it did.
So now we have a new refrigerator. And it is gorgeous.
The delivery men told us we'd have to wait awhile before using the ice and water dispenser since we had to cycle through a bucket of ice and a gallon of water so as not to poison ourselves with new refrigerator chemicals. Or something like that - I stopped listening when Scott explained it.
But then....it was ready. Scott was the first to use it. He went over to the fridge with his tall glass, filled it with ice (cubed...so unrefined), and then to the brim with clear, filtered, icy cold water.
Except, while he was doing so, he said to me, "Huh. It kinda sounds like an old man peeing."
And just like that, it was over. I can never look at it the same way again. My silver ice and water dispensing dream machine will forever be linked in my mind to an old man with incontinence problems.
Dribble dribble dribble dribble. Dribble.
Crushed ice? Try crushed dreams. Oh, refrigerator - at least you can still keep my Diet Coke cold. I'll just have to try to hold on to that.