Sunday, November 7, 2010

7 Things I Do Not Understand About Football

Why the TV Commentators Get So Dressed Up

Now this I really do not understand.  When I think of football fashion, I think sweat pants, oversized jersey, beer, and couch.   I do not think fancy Italian suit and silk tie.  For pete's sake, I'm a lawyer and I don't even wear a suit to work.  Why do those poor guys need to get so dressed up?  They just look so uncomfy.     

Why My Husband Gets Upset When His Team Wins

Me:  Hey honey, we won!

Him:  Yeah, but we almost lost.

Me:  So what!  We won!  Hooray!

Him:  Yeah, but we almost lost.

Me:  But we won.

Him:  But we almost lost.

{silence}

Me:  Hey, can we turn it to Oprah?

Why It Takes So Long

So.  One game.  4 quarters. 15 minutes each.  That should be 60 minutes tops, people.  So why does it take 3 hours????  I don't get it. 

Why the Referees Wear Baseball Hats

It just seems unsafe.  Get those guys some helmets.

Why the Hate for the Ponytail Holder

I just wince every time I see these football players with the long hair flowing about their shoulders and down their backs.  Ouch!  Won't it get snagged by their helmet?  Won't it get pulled when they're tackled?  Won't it get twisted in their shoulder pads?  Oh, the split ends!  Put it in a ponytail, guys.  Your hair will thank me later.

Why Everyone Knows Where the Ball is But Me

Without fail, they snap it or hand it off or option it or whatever it's called and I am like "Ooh, that guy's got it and he's gonna go ALL.THE.WAY!  Wait, why is the camera going off screen when that guy is gonna go ALL.THE.WAY!  Oh, because he never had it to begin with. That other guy over there did."  They get me every time.

Why My Husband Prefers to Watch Football Without Me

Well, I think I'm delightful.  But to each their own.


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16 comments:

Posie Patchwork said...

Straight up, i have no idea about American Football, full stop. It wasn't until i saw the movie 'The Blind Side' that i realised there are two teams on each side, they don't play at the same time, & there are a series of time outs (which is how 4 x 15 minutes = 3 hours i guess??) My husband knows a tad more (after fighting in wars with American soldiers) but can't really explain it to me, so confusing. I'm with you, Oprah, i understand!! Love Posie

Rachel said...

YES!!!!

Rebecca said...

I kind of love that you're concerned about split ends!

Husband told me last night that even though I'm an avid football fan (and I am...I'm cool like that), that I just don't get why life has to stop when the Eagles are on. He's right...I don't get it. Why does it consume his life so completely? Isn't that my job?

Ian said...

I'll answer all of these for you, as I am a die hard football fan.

Why the TV Commentators Get So Dressed Up

Commentators in every sport get dressed up. The question should be more like how come in baseball the Managers wear the uniform? I think the football coaches should coach in full pads, right?


Why My Husband Gets Upset When His Team Wins

16 games and the difference between a win and a loss is not much at times. Plus you could win and lose a few players to injury. Almost better losing in that case and no injury.

Why It Takes So Long

See the note about 16 games. In comparison, baseball takes 2-3 hours each game and there's 162 games. Not bad when you think about it.

Why the Referees Wear Baseball Hats

Differentiates them from the players, easy to spot

Why the Hate for the Ponytail Holder

CAUSE ITS GAY

Why Everyone Knows Where the Ball is But Me

Like I tell the wife most of the time who actually watches football. Put down the book/cpu and watch the game.

Why My Husband Prefers to Watch Football Without Me

Can't answer that. Wife watches all the games with me

Christina said...

LMAO, you crack me up. The commenter above me nailed it! ;)
I love football, and my hubby watches the games only with me....I feel pretty special. :)

Kmama said...

This was so funny. you can blame Ian's comment on me. He found you through my blog. LOL

Jen said...

I don't get it either.

Danae said...

My husband watches football, but doesn't get too involved in it thankfully. I've wondered about the commentators dress code myself. Also- why do those last 5 minutes seem to take an hour? Granted, it's only when the scores are close, but seriously?

wonderchris said...

I for one would LOVE to watch football with you!! :)

Those baseball caps never made any sense....especially when you see a ref get caught in a tackle - that's not pretty, folks.

blueviolet said...

You are so funny! I worry about long hair being pulled too, and I get annoyed with the time-outs. Don't the coaches know that the game is supposed to last an hour? Honestly!

gringationcancun said...

You know what I hate? The fact that the game lasts for 3 hours, but there's only 1 hour of playing time.

That's TWO HOURS of watching guys with no ponytail holders just standing around picking their wedgies.

Katherine said...

Hilarious! I'm a huge football fan, but I must say, I agree with almost everything on here. Not only do the commentators get dressed up in suits, but most have matching ties and pocket squares. I've never seen a real life person with a pocket square.

Pam said...

The ponytail holder. I hate footballers with long stringy hair. Ewww.

Emily said...

I have recent first-hand experience with your "Why My Husband Gets Upset When His Team Wins" point. I couldn't believe how frustrated my husband was following last night's Steelers win over the Bengels. Sheesh. You'd think the Steelers had just lost the SuperBowl based on his post-game mood! I personally think he should have just been giddy with happiness that I watched the game with him. :)

Krista said...

These are all excellent points, I agree totally. FYI, if you have trouble keeping up with the ball in football, don't watch hockey, just sayin.

Sadia said...

"We found that the National Football League had less action [than baseball]... About 11 minutes [per game]."

Love NPR.