Monday, October 11, 2010

She craft! She craft!

On Saturday evening, I decided that enough was enough and I was going to take control of my October.  So I packed up Ashley in the minivan and took her with me to Hobby Lobby to buy Halloween crafting materials.

Now let me stop here to explain something.  I am not a crafty person.  But oh, how I wish I was.  I constantly have visions of cute little crafty pillows and wreaths and apothecary jars floating around in my non-crafty brain.  And let me tell you, they all look excellent in there.  But once my crafts emerge from my brain into the tangible world, the excellence comes to a screeching halt.

I am like the William Hung of the crafting world.  Heavy on the enthusiasm - light on the talent. 

Take, for example, my project on Saturday night.  I had decided to make the adorable candy corn wreath I referenced in my last post.  Easy peasy, right?  It had step-by-step directions!  All I needed was a wreath thingy, some candy corn, some paint, something called a circuit or a cricut or whatever to cut a paper flower embellishment, and some hodgepodge.  Oh, and a glue gun, but I already owned that so awesome. 

So Ashley and I made our way into Hobby Lobby and headed off to the wreath section.  And almost immediately, I was befuddled.

Hmm.  I don't remember the wreath thingy in the instructions being styrofoam.  Are there other kinds of wreath thingies? 

So I walked around the store once.  Nope.  No other wreath thingies.

Hmm.  I guess I'll just get one of these styrofoam wreath thingies then.  But hmmm.  Can you paint styrofoam?  I almost called Scott to ask, but I didn't want to embarass myself in front of all the crafty people walking around.  Also, Ashley was now wearing the wreath thingy around her neck so I thought it best just to move on.

Next up was the candy corn.  No trouble there.  I may not know crafts, people, but I do know candy.

Now for paint.  No problemo!  Except did you know that there are different types of paint?  Acrylic, tempura (isn't that for stir fry?), and I can't remember the other types.  So I didn't know what the heck to buy.  I kept looking for a "Plain Paint" aisle but couldn't find it.  They really need to get one of those. 

I finally crossed my fingers and went with acrylic.  Now off to find the circuit.  Or crickert.  I cannot remember how it is spelled.  Also, I have no idea what it is.  After roaming the aisles for a little while, I decided to cut my losses and just buy a fake flower to stick in the wreath instead.  Then it was time to find the hodgepodge.  Except I realized it was actually called modpodge when I totally found it by accident.  So that was a lucky break.   

Later that night, I laid out all my crafting materials on the table before me and started crafting away.  During the process, I learned a few crafting tips that I thought I would share with you all.

1.  You can paint styrofoam with acrylic paint, but it's a pain in the arse. 

2.  Hot glue is great for sticking candy corn on a styrofoam wreath, except for the fact that hot glue melts styrofoam.

3.  Don't burn your fingers with a hot glue gun because it hurts like a MOTHER. 

4.  You may get the shakes if you eat too much candy carn while crafting.  This can also up the likelihood of more glue gun burns.  See number 3.

5.  When you're ready to hang up your wreath, use something cute like a ribbon.  I went with twine for a "rustic" look and it kind of looks like I lynched it instead.

6.  Also, get someone to help you hang it up.  Otherwise you might lose some candy corns from banging it around too much.  And you don't want the little ones to eat hodgepodged candy corns.  Unless they skipped their naps.

And if you got all the way through this post, you will now be rewarded with a picture. 

Watch out, Martha Stewart.  I've got a glue gun and I'm not afraid to use it.


Sippy Cup Mom said...

I loved this post. Like LOVED it! It's super cute BTW!

Annette said...

Oh my gosh, thank you for making me laugh again and again. Your wreath came out cute, although it does kind of look like you lynched it... Seriously though, I can't gloat. I'm a wanna be craft person myself, but I know nothing about craft vocab and very little about paint. From one non-crafty person to another, I'm very proud of you. Nice work! :)

Anonymous said...

Bravo! I do admire those Moms who can make fabulous crafts every day of the week! I see some folks with "a craft a day" projects going on for the rest of the year! But alas I'm only human and no Martha Stewart myself!

Kmama said...

You crack me up. I am so not a crafty person. Like you, the images in my head are so nice and pretty and then it looks like a preschooler went to town on my craft when I'm finished.

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Once upon a time, I *was* a crafty person. The crazy thing is, I keep buying all these crafty supplies, like I still *am* a crafty person...but I haven't touched a glue gun since the girls were born. But boy am I gonna be ready one day. Except does hot glue have an expiration date?

And I think your wreath looks super cute, even if it does have a little battle scar from the lynching. :)

Oh, and LOVE the William Hung reference. My head jumped right over to his famous performance when I saw the title of your post. And yes, I *used* to watch American Idol while I crafted. :) :)

Katherine said...

That is awesome! It's seriously inspired me to get started on some crafting. I don't think of myself as a crafty person, but then my husband reminds me that we have boxes of crafting supplies, mostly dusty boxes of my shattered crafting dreams.

Belle n' Kent said...

My two favorite parts? This line..."I may not know crafts, people, but I do know candy."
And the rope...oh that rope! I laughed so hard I cried candy-corn sized tears!

sara said...

LOL! Oh my god...the plain paint aisle. I laughed through this whole post and was rewarded with a stunningly crafty wreath!

Liz said...

Doh - melted styrofoam! It looks really cute and not at all like it was an ordeal to create! go you!

wonderchris said...

I already had William Hung stuck in my head when I read the blog title - and then after the William Hung comment - She Bangs is securely stuck in my head!

It turned out lovely - and you didn't even have to take a blurry picture to make it so.

Hot glue gun = guaranteed burn. Excellent work!!

Jen said...

This is why I don't craft. I'll just eat the corns instead.

Christina said...

Well look at you! Great job! I would of stopped before I even got to damn Hobby Lobby.

Brandy@YDK said...

i think it looks pretty frickin cute.

Big Momma said...

i have to say, for as much frustration as it probably took to make with the hot glue burns, that is one darn cute wreath. i really like that the corns alternate directions in the circles. :)

and i really believe that a good part of crafting is practice - once you figure out what works and what doesn't, everything comes out better!


Anonymous said...

Impressive Martha Junior! I too, am a bit of a Hung when it comes to crafting, but my enthusiams more than makes up for it! congrats on getting into the crafty club.

Rebecca said...

Someone just posted this the other day and I was like, "hey, I could do that." Then I read your post and I was like, "nah..."

The part that made me laugh was the it!

Holly said...

I have an award for you over on my blog today! Check it out here:

See you soon! Have a great day!

Krystyn said...

That is seriously awesome! You rock.

But, I'm with you...the ribbon might be the way to go next time.

So, will we be seeing a Christmas wreath, too?

MollyinMinn said...

That is so crazy cute! I love it. Heck that is something I might even be able to try. Well, probably not, but in theory!

Helene said...

Well, I'm totally impressed....seriously! One of my magazines had a candy corn wreath on the cover and I desperately want to make it but I just know it'll be a total disaster!! Yours looks beautiful...and I'm not just saying that cuz I would totally tell you if you should just pack your glue gun away for, like, an eternity.

Katie Rush said...

that wreath is caaute!

Danae said...

Thanks for the laugh! You may want to glue those missing candies back, or else your guests might assume they can snack on the other pieces. :o) Very, very cute wreath!

MommaKiss said...

wait, can you eat the glue?
I'll need to know because I plan to pick a piece to eat every time I walk by.

(very pretty, ladycakes)

Brooke G. said...

I can barely even SEE the wreath because I am laughing so HARD there are tears in my eyes. From what I can tell, it turned out beatifully. I might have to agree with you on the ribbon over twine though :D CUTE stuff!