Thursday, September 2, 2010

They Don't Call it a "Dragon" Fly for Nothing


So, yesterday, I was driving home from work.

Wait, let me back up.

Yesterday I was driving home from work and I really had to pee.  And then Scott called me and said, "Hey, I just ordered wings and pizza from Oscar's."

So I said, "Oh yum, that sounds good."  And then strictly as a courtesy only, I said "Do you want me to go pick it up?"

And he said "Oh, yeah, that would be great.  It'll be ready in 25 minutes so that's actually perfect timing."

Well, shoot.

Scott never asks me to go pick up the food.  So now I needed to back track.  "Oh, really?  Well, sure I guess I can go.  I just really have to pee, though."  Plus, I had a pimple on my chin that I had just made really angry at a stoplight before Scott called.  And you never want to take an angry pimple out in public.

But then Scott reminded me of our three small children, who he'd have to bring with him if he were to go pick up the food.  So I bore down and went to Oscar's.  I thought about stopping in the ladies room there, but by that point in time I was committed to holding it, you know?  Plus, I swore the bartender was staring at my pimple so I just wanted to get out of there pronto tonto. 

Can you believe I'm not even to the point of my story yet?

Okay, now I am.  Anyways, for the last couple miles of the drive home, I passed by a big patch of prairie on the right.  Not much to see there -  just grass and wildflowers and that's pretty much it.  But then I started to notice that there were a lot of bugs flying around.  Which, granted, I live in Nebraska so it's not like bugs are unusual or anything.  But there were a lot of bugs.  Big bugs.  So I peered closer.   And then I realized these weren't just any bugs - they were dragonflies.

A SWARM OF DRAGONFLIES!!!

I almost peed my pants right then and there, which as we established above, was already precariously close to happening anyway.  Dragonflies are the most terrifying bug in the world (followed closely by grasshoppers) for mainly three reasons.

1.  They are BIG.  Actually, they are GINORMOUS.

2.  They are POINTY.  One of those things could poke your eye out if they flew right into it, which you know they are trying to do.

3.  They are SWOOPY.  They fly around all willy nilly zig zaggy - they're up, they're down, they're back, they're forth - they're like the Cha Cha Slide of the insect world.   You never know which way they're gonna go next.

People, there were dragonflies EVERYWHERE.  Swooping in front of my car and next to my car and everywhere I looked.  I instinctively ducked and dodged, sure that one of them would eventually break the glass on my windshield.  It was like that scene from the Bible where there was a plague of locusts.  Or maybe that was from Little House on the Prairie.  Or maybe both?  I can't remember.

Maybe it was my pimple that attracted them!  It was a like a target right in the center of my chin calling for them all to attack.  Thank God I made it home safely. I am shuddering just remembering it.  

And to think I went through all that just because my husband wanted wings and a pizza.  The things I do for him, I swear. 

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24 comments:

Erin and Co. said...

Oh man first I had to laugh about the "pee thing" cause I did that tonight, got out twice but didn't have "Time" to stop in a restroom.

I have to disagree with the dragon fly, as Wasps and Hornets are the scariest, with cicades, pray mantisis and horse flies drawing up the rear. To name a few! :))

Erin @ I Should Be Studying

PS. I'm dropping by from Follow ME Chickadee

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

So, any splatters on the windshield?

Big Momma said...

see, i think dragon flies are cute! in an oddly shaped, ugly kind of way. :) now scorpions, those are some scary bugs!

--Alex

Night Owl Mama said...

i was wondering if anyone else went through great lengths to please their husband like i do..and I think I found her.... YOU LOL

Annette said...

This post just made me pee my pants! No seriously, it was so funny. Yes, I think my first instinct would be to duck from a swarm of dragonflies too...windshield or no windshield. Thank goodness you made it out of there...alive...

Kmama said...

I love dragon flies!! But...if confronted with a swarm of them, I think I would flee. LOL

Marissa said...

that is HILARIOUS...I am cracking up over here :) Found you through chickadee fridays and new follower here! CUTE BLOG!!

gringationcancun said...

Near where my husband's family lives in Yucatan, Mexico, there are butterfly swarms on the roads surrounded by jungle. It looks gorgeous... until one splats on your window.

Glad you and your pee made it home!

Joanna said...

Hi There!

I found you through Blog Hop Fridays, and I have to say that the adorable owls drew me in, and the dragonflies made me stay. Dragonflies freak me out, way too big for a bug, in my opinion.

You have such a cute blog, I'm following now!

Have a great weekend!
Joanna

Shelley said...

I am your newest follower. I know all about blogging when you should be sleeping!! I hope you can follow me back at http://mylifeadventurebyme.blogspot.com/.
God Bless and get some rest,
Shelley

Kerin Lee said...

I'm your newest follower! Of my goodness I almost PEED my pants laughing!!!

Hopping over from the blog hop! Happy Friendly Friday!

Hope to see you hopping okay to my blog to say "Hi". I always return the love (follows/comments). See you soon!

Kerin
hergoodintentions.blogpot.com
Twitter: @hgimomblog (I follow back)

funfunfun said...

Hi...following from bloghop...would love to have you follow back!
http://funfritzfamily.blogspot.com/

Ruth Anne said...

I have no idea what a "blog hop" is...

MOTHS. Those things are freaking scary and evil. I can not abide them. I freak and hit the floor if they are in the house. The kids can fend for themselves. Or they can capture it in a glass and let it go outside, whichever they choose.

Happy Friday!! (and blog hopping!?)

Stephanie said...

I AM YOUR 500th FOLLOWER! Thank you for coming over to my blog and reading my about me! We have been through a lot...and it makes me feel good that others are ecstatic for me...Thanks again! :)

Just Married with Coupons said...

Hiya! I am stopping by from the blog hop! I am your newest follower! Hope you will swing by and visit us at www.justmarriedwithcoupons.com

Have a fantastic weekend!

Liz said...

so, instead of children of the corn, it's dragonflies of the prairie??

Show Me Mama said...

I am your new follower. You can visit me at http://showmemama.blogspot.com Please leave a comment so I know you visited.
Have a great Labor Day Weekend!

Anna said...

I am so glad you are safe! : )

Amanda-The Nutritionist Reviews said...

I love dragon flies!

I found you through the Weekend Winddown blog hop! Have a great Labor Day weekend!

The Lane Family said...

I love dragon flies!! But they are tough little creatures :)

The story about having to go pee and the pimple and your husband wanting you to pick the pizza up was HILARIOUS!!!! Glad to know I am not the only one that has been there.

Rebecca said...

Best line of this post: Can you believe I'm not even to the point of my story yet?

Dragonflies freak me out too...don't know why, but I'd rather sic my angry pimple on a dragonfly than deal with it alone!

Kristen @ ladybug-blessings.com said...

Just found your blog from Lani's and wanted to say hello. I think dragonflies are scary too but I love how they look when you draw them, haha, because those aren't scary :)

Danae said...

Hilarious! I don't want to take angry pimples out in public either. I go to great lengths to avoid that...

Kim said...

Our neighbor's had thousands covering their yard the other night too! Something funky is going on...