Last Tuesday, I went to see a psychic. Let us continue to refer to him as "Psychic Dave" for continuity purposes, even though after meeting him I think he looks more like a "Psychic Timothy." See, he was wearing one of those newsboy cap thingies. And don't you always think guys who wear those caps must be named Timothy?
Maybe it's just me.
Anyways, three of my friends and I showed up on Psychic Dave's doorstep at 6:45 p.m. on the dot. He opened the door so quickly it was like he knew we were coming. Granted, we had made an appointment, but I was feeling pretty good about his psychic abilities nonetheless.
We all walked in and introduced ourselves, and I had a momentary panic attack when I realized that one of my friends was also named Megan. Now, I've known she's been named Megan since we were 14 years old, so that was no surprise. But I didn't think about how that could affect our psychic readings! What if a ghost popped in the room and wanted to communicate with one of us? Would Psychic Dave be able to distinguish between us?
Ghost: oooooh oooooooh I have an important message for Megan ooooooh
Psychic Dave: Megan, there is a spirit trying to contact you from the spirit world.
Megan #1: Me or her?
Megan #2: Her or me?
Ghost: ooooooh Never mind, this is too complicated ooooooh
Yes, all this ran through my head within the first two minutes of stepping into Psychic Dave's house. I hope he wasn't reading my mind yet, but you can never be sure with those psychics.
After introductions were made, Psychic Dave asked us all to remove our shoes before heading back to his "office". I thought that was odd. Did he need to see our toes in order to give us our psychic predictions? Or was he just worried about his carpet? I guess I'll never know.
Psychic Dave also had a dog, which he said was usually very skittish when there were a lot of people around, and therefore she may not be able to come to the office with us. I'm not sure why that was an issue but it seemed pretty important to him. So I took that as my cue that I needed to get that dog to like me. If the dog liked me, I was in like flynn with Psychic Dave. No negative predictions for this lady! So I let this dog lick and lick my hand like there was no tomorrow. And nibble on my nails until they were all nubby. And let me tell you, that was tough because I am not a dog person. But I let her do it, because everyone knows that people who don't like dogs are the devil. And I didn't want Psychic Dave to think I was a devil! I try to like dogs, I really do...but I just don't. Maybe I was a cat in a former life. Shoot, I should have asked Psychic Dave.
Anyways, now that I'd gotten in good with the dog, Psychic Dave told me a bunch of interesting things. He told me that I should go see psychics more often and that water is my element. I must have been giving him the hairy eyeball because he then said I was very intimidating. Ha! Apparently he didn't see me crying like a weenie at "How To Train Your Dragon" last weekend.
Truth be told, my psychic reading was not all that exciting so there's not much more to say. But I was blown away by some of the things he said to my friends - I seriously got chills a couple of times. Although it might have just been from the lack of footwear.