Monday, April 26, 2010

The Road not Taken...Yet


On Tuesday night, I am going to see a psychic.  Let us call him "Psychic Dave," because that is pretty close to but not exactly the same as his actual moniker.  Plus, it sounds funny.

I am not quite sure how I found myself in the position of seeing Psychic Dave on a spring evening in April.

Scratch that - I do know how.

It all started back when my girlfriends and I decided to call a spade a spade and throw in the towel on our monthly "Book Club."  No books had been read since circa 2005, and considering I didn't join until 2007 that is really saying something. 

Of course this didn't mean that we would stop gathering on a monthly basis.  To the contrary, we simply renamed "Book Club."  After tossing around various ideas like "Unhealthy Snack Club" and "Escape Your Children Club", we finally settled on "Thursday Therapy."  Because that won't raise any eyebrows at all if your secretary looks at your Outlook calendar.

Anyways, a month or so ago, we escaped our children and gathered at Old Chicago for some unhealthy snacks (Damn, those names are so apropos.  Maybe we need to switch.  Plus, they would have really nice acronyms, which would look super fancy on my Outlook calendar (e.g.,  6:00p.m.  - EYCC).  My secretary would think I'm really important.  And then maybe she wouldn't yell at me when I ask her to photo copy stuff).

Also, does it say something about your writing ability when you have to start out every paragraph with "Anyways..."?

Anyways, back to Old Chicago.  I was busy eating a giant cookie when one of my friends proposed seeing a psychic for April's edition of Thursday Therapy.  So needless to say, I was distracted.


So without fully thinking it through, I agreed that obtaining psychic predictions sounded like a super fun thing to do.

Now that I have had time for further reflection, I have realized that nothing good can come of this. People like me are not meant to see psychics, for the following reasons.

(1)  If he tells me anything good is going to happen, I will not believe him.

(2)  If he tells me anything bad is going to happen, I will believe him 100%.

Cynicism - it's powerful stuff.  Only outmatched by it's less glamorous cousin...pessimism.

But nonetheless, I will be seeing Psychic Dave tomorrow evening.  And I am supposed to come armed with a list of questions of "Things I Want to Know."

Except I cannot for the life of me think of anything.

I'm not going to worry about it, though.  Psychic Dave should already know what I'm going to ask, so I'll just ask him to tell me tomorrow.  Problem solved.

He's going to love me.


Erin said...

I can't stop laughing after reading this. My son just rolled his eyes at me I was laughing so hard. I really need an escape your children club to go to. Maybe I'll work on putting one together. Can't wait to hear all about Psychic Dave.

Anonymous said...

I would be really cautious - my mum was right into that sort of thing when young and it totally wrecked her life... some of the negative predictions came true and she has lived her life in total fear of the rest happening ever since.

Makes sense why the Bible warns against it.

Jen said...

I went to go see a psychic once. She told me that I was going to have 5 children including a set of twins. I guess she was wrong.

Helene said...

Your Thursday Therapy group sounds awesome!!!! What a fun way to escape!!

I can't wait to hear what the psychic has to say. If he even dares to tell you that another set of twins is in store for you, ask for a refund...pronto! And then run like hell!

Regina said...

Best of luck on this adventure. If they offer you the right to "tape" the session - be sure to do it so that you can reflect on it later and see how wrong / right it is.

Also, if it makes you feel any better - they generally don't tell you bad news. I think it's against their oath or something.

Can't wait to hear the revelations that come out of this visit!

Sadia said...

I can't wait to hear how it goes. Sounds like it'll be a trip.

(P.S. Of course he'll love you. I do! Plus, I have a feeling he's used to not being taken seriously.)

Anonymous said...

What a funny post! Can't wait to hear what he says. I of course will not believe one single word that comes from his mouth - good or bad! I have some trust issues.

SocialStudiesSoubrette said...

Tagged You!

Krystyn said...

Oh, I would so be the same way....never believe the good and trust the bad. Thank goodness he will know what you are going to ask!

MollyinMinn said...

Oh I cannot wait to hear the outcome!

bbcd mama said...

Ha, ha, ha! Good luck! You better be honest with what you tell us. And can I be your neighbor? Your photo is picturesque!

wonderchris said...

Psychic Dave has his hands full on this one. If he is a good psychic he'll only tell you good things will happen - this ensures repeat business. Can't wait to hear what he has to say. :)

aek1976 said...

I must admit that I am one (there were 2 of us..we ganged up on her) of the friends that suggested this to my cynical, attorney friend. She will readily admit that between the 4 of us, there were some really accurate readings by "Psychic Dave" So much so, that Cynical Megan may go again:-)

Kristin.... said...

Ok I can't wait to hear about it!
I would love a book club or a snack club or a "get me the heck out of my house without kids club"

Angie said...

Oh, wow, I love it!

Love your blog. I'm a former corporate lawyer turned mommy of twins. Oh, I'm also a book club dropout, and I start every other paragraph with "anyway." So we've got a few things in common. :)

I know you'll be inundated today (happy SITS day, btw), but if you get a chance to check out my blog, please do. I can't wait to read through the rest of yours.

You can find me at:

Tractor Mom said...

Have fun with Pyschic Dave!

Happy SITS Day! I've had to write this post three times so this is all you get!

P.S. I'll be following!

mrs. b. said...

we are so similar - i would *absolutely* believe the bad and not even remember the good.

and i am on the edge of my seat to hear about your psychic encounter!