I don't know what came over me this weekend, but I decided I had had it up to *here* with kid tv shows.
"Enough is enough!" I declared, to no one in particular. "We are going to watch a movie instead!"
What? Did you expect me to turn it off?
Anyways, back to my story.
The boys started clamoring for their most recent favorite:
I was feeling the need to man the boys up a little. Maybe it was because I'd already put lip gloss on them that morning. I don't know. But I said to them "We are not going to watch Tinkerbell. Again. We are going to watch..............STAR WARS!"
The kids blinked.
Scott volunteered to put my old VHS copy of classic Star Wars in the VCR. You know, the good one...the classic 1977 version before George Lucas went back and mucked it all up with digital puppet nonsense.
We almost lost the kids as we had to rewind the tape, and then fast-forward to the opening, and then rewind again because we fast-forwarded a little too far (man, those DVDs spoil you), but soon enough the familiar words started scrolling across the screen and the music began to blare throughout the room.
The kids were awestruck. And silent. And riveted to the tv. It was awesome.
For about 5 minutes.
And then the boys noticed R2D2: "Robot, mama! Robot!" And C3PO: "Robot, mama! Robot!" And the million other robots in the first 15 minutes of the movie. "Robot, mama! Robot!"
Yes boys. That's a robot. Yup, that's another robot. Yes, I see the robot. For the love of God, stop saying robot!!!!
And then Ashley started asking me hard questions. "Mommy, are they breaking people? Why are they breaking people?"
I said "Oh no, they're not breaking people, honey, they're just...shining lasers on them...and then they're laying down...and...well...hey, did you know that there's a princess in this movie?" When in doubt, change the subject. That's a highly underrated parenting technique that I tend to use in situations like these.
Ashley was excited. "A princess!? When does she get married?"
And I said "What? She doesn't get married. She does lots of cool stuff, like...shine lasers on people. Just because she's a princess doesn't mean she has to get married."
Ashley looked at me like I was an idiot and said "But mommy, princesses always get married."
And I thought to myself....crikey. Maybe we're all wearing a little too much lip gloss lately.