As described in my previous post, I was suffering from a little-known malady referred to as "Flippy Bang Syndrome." It can be triggered when a hair salon fails to make a reminder call to a forgetful, non-calendar using person the day before her appointment. The syndrome then worsens, as the victim inevitably forgets to reschedule the missed appointment for month after month after month while her bangs grow longer and longer and longer. If left untreated, one can end up looking like Hermey, the flippy-banged dental-student wannabe from the stop motion animated classic "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
It's serious and scary stuff, people.
Well, after I had diagnosed myself with Flippy Bang Syndrome, I called my hair lady and she squeezed me in for a cut and color on Monday night. Hooray! I walked in the door of the salon and was greeted by my hair lady with an enthusiastic "Oh my God, how ARE you???" Which she immediately followed up with a quiet and worried "Oh my God, your bangs are sooooo long." (See, I told you this was serious stuff).
Now, seeing as how my bangs were jutting out from the side of my head and my roots had seen much brighter days, you would think my hair lady wouldn't trust my judgment with how best to proceed on correcting the mess I had on my head. Yet for some inexplicable reason, she kept asking me what I wanted to do. And since I was high from all the hair chemical fumes wafting around in the place, I felt confident turning down her suggestions and throwing ideas out on how to make myself look fabulous.
She said "Let's add some lowlights this time," and I said "No, let's skip the lowlights. This winter's been so dull I want to brighten things up a bit!" She then asked me how short I wanted it and I said "Oh, I'm feeling brave...let's trim it up to a bob." Then she asked me about my bangs...did I want them swoopy again? And I said "Oh, let's mix it up this time...do straight bangs instead of swoopy!"
There is a reason I did not go to beauty school.
Because I have now gone from looking like this:
And the worst part is, I can't even blame her...she did exactly as I asked: bright blonde, bob, straight bangs. If only I had realized I was asking her to make me look like Little Lord Fauntleroy!
But really, I think I can work with this. Maybe with a little product and a little TLC on the bangs, things will be okay. And if nothing else, at least I'm staying consistent with the classic Christmas movie theme. First it was Rudolph the Red Nosed Reinder, now it's Little Lord Fauntleroy....I wonder what will be next? Stay tuned until my next appointment in April to find out.