1. A declaration of "Mommy, you ruined my life!!" said after being sent to her room for using my eyeliner pencils to color on our white master bathroom cabinet drawers.
2. Pee in a pull-up instead of the potty after I sat on the bathroom floor reading him Mickey Mouse Clubhouse books for one and a half hours.
3. A black eye after he accidentally head-butted me in the face.
R u jealous? U totally shld be.