Sunday, June 28, 2009

Bear With Me While I Ramble

Traveling last week threw me all out of sorts. I have a million different posts flying around in my head, but can't seem to focus on just one topic. So instead, I bring you four brief travel-related stories and a random fact. Kinda like "Four Weddings and a Funeral," except not.

1. I had to race to make my connecting flight back to Nebraska out of the Dallas-Fort Worth airport. Even though I had to get from Terminal A to Terminal B, the little map of DFW in the back of the American Airlines magazine made it look it would be quicker to walk there than take the shuttle. TIP FOR THE FUTURE: Those maps are not drawn to scale. I repeat - the maps are NOT drawn to scale. Do not trust the maps. Always take the shuttle. For God's sake, always take the shuttle.

2. While perusing the latest edition of Sky Mall magazine on one of my flights, I decided I must have the following items:

However, I do not need "The Zombie of Montclaire Moors." That's just weird.

3. If you find yourself saying "It's not that hot" at 8:30am on a Texas Tuesday morning, you have absolutely no clue about just how hot it's going to get.

4. Be careful about being a good sport and telling the client "Sure, Mexican food sounds great!" when you really hate Mexican food with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. Because you just might find yourself eating Mexcian food for every single meal thereafter.

And now for the random fact: Scott caught a fly Mr. Miyagi style tonight at dinner. It buzzed on in the kitchen and landed on Aidan's sippy cup. Aidan then shrieked at such a high decibel that I think it temporarily stunned the fly which allowed Scott to catch it scissor-finger style. It was quite a sight and we were all duly impressed.

And if that wasn't random, then I don't know what to tell you. Hopefully this week I'll be back to my regularly scheduled posting content. :-)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Proper Care and Feeding of a Wife

I've been traveling this week for work. I got home late last night, and had to get up early again to head into the office. And I am tired.

So tired that I actually fell asleep at my desk this afternoon. I'm pretty sure you can't count sleeping as a billable hour, even if you are dreaming of work. Darnit.

So I decided to come home early.

Luckily, my husband is fantastic, and let me take a nap when I got home, even though he has been solo parenting for the last two days. Then when I woke up, he said:

"What do you want for dinner? I'll make you anything you want. As long as I don't need to use the oven."

(The oven is broken. Darnit.)

So, I thought about it for a little while. He threw out some man food suggestions: "Steak? Italian sausage? Ribs?"

And then it came to me.

"I want the Denny's Grand Slam breakfast."

He looked at me curiously.

"For dinner?", he said.

"Yes," I replied.

"Eggs and bacon?", he probed.

"And pancakes and sausage and toast. And hashbrowns.", I confirmed.

So that's what my husband made me. Pancakes, fried eggs, hashbrowns, sausage, bacon and toast.

(Well, I made the toast. But I burned it. Darnit.)

It was a welcome home feast. And I ate it all. Apparently traveling makes me tired and hungry.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day


What can you say about a man who stays at home to take care of his three children:

  • without any outside help
  • who don't like to share
  • or take turns
  • or play quietly
  • two of whom aren't potty-trained yet
  • and who also like to throw a lot of tantrums
  • very loud tantrums
  • with an older sister who won't take a nap
  • and wants you to push her on the swings 24/7
  • and isn't starting preschool until September

Somehow, Happy Father's Day just doesn't seem like enough.

We love you, Scotty.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Terrible Two's

Somebody taught Aidan how to throw a tantrum.

I'm thinking it was Caillou. He is always teaching my kids inappropriate things. But yet, the 1/2 hour of silence during which they remain riveted to the television always seems so worth it at the time.

Side Note: One of these days I will have to write out the back story that I've invented to keep myself entertained during an episode of Caillou. The Young and the Restless has nothing on me plus a cup of coffee and a 1/2 hour block of Caillou on a Saturday morning.

But regardless of where Aidan learned it from, one thing is clear - he has mastered the art of the tantrum.
  • Body thrashing? Check.
  • Arm flailing? Check.
  • Leg kicking? Check.
  • Hip twisting? Check.
  • Toy throwing? Check.
  • Screams of rage? Check.
  • Mood swings that come on so fast they make you worry your kid has multiple personality disorder? Check.

I don't know whether to be proud or have him committed. Thank God there's a good 10 years in between now and puberty - I think it's going to take me that long to recover.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

And it Was Called Yellow...


If you know Ashley, you know that she has a favorite color.
It's yellow.

***

Me: Ashley, do you want the pink cup or the green cup?

Ashley: Yellow cup. Cuz yellow's my favorite color.

***

Me: Ashley, do you want to color with crayons?

Ashley: Just yellow crayons, mommy. Cuz yellow's my favorite color.

***

Me: Ashley, do you want an M&M?

Ashley: No.

Me: You don't want an M&M?

Ashley: No, Mommy. I want TWO M&M's. Two YELLOW M&M's. Cuz yellow's my favorite color.

***

Me: Ooh, Ashley - look, a rainbow!

Ashley: Yeah, mommy! A rainbow! Red, orange, yellow - that's my favorite color - green and blue!

(Poor purple always gets left out).

***

I can't think of a better color to match her personality. She's definitely my sunshine girl.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Food Stereotyping

In case you didn't know, I'm a working mom. And, I'm lucky enough to have a husband who stays home with our kids and generally keeps our home life in working order. It's a sweet deal.

Except for the man food.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm usually thrilled when Scott cooks dinner. Normally we subsist on what I refer to as my "college diet" (i.e., pasta with red sauce). So any time he whips out the cookbook is a cause for celebration.

But oy, my arteries are hurting this week. So far it's been steak, barbecue ribs, and then more steak.

I keep hinting at how lovely a nice summer salad would be. Or a grilled chicken breast. Or a big turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato and maybe even avocado. But beggars can't be choosers, so I eat the man food with gusto, and am grateful for it.

However, tonight Scott went out with friends, and I had to fend for myself for dinner.

Ah, girl food at last, I thought. So what did I make?? Homemade chicken salad? Grilled salmon? A fruit plate? Hummus?

No.

I ate a 1/2 pint of Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream. Girl food at its finest.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Sweet Summer Time

Beautiful Weather

+

New Flowers

+

A Cherry Tree

+

A BBQ

+

Strawberry Shortcake

=

The Perfect Weekend

Monday, June 8, 2009

On Parenting Identical Twins

One of the problems with twins is that they don't come with an instruction manual. Also, you can't take them back to the twin store when one of them malfunctions.

But, one of the awesome things about having twins (particularly identical twins), is that you have a control-group and a test-group available at all times to analyze your parenting skills.

Let's just say, for example, that one of the twins has a problem with, oh, shall we say....hitting.

" Who, me?"

Oh, how that one loves to smack things. Generally he aims for the closest human target (usually his twin brother), but he's not averse to smacking inanimate objects when in a pinch. Our [family room furniture][walls][kitchen chairs][various toys] know who's boss in this house, thank you very much.

I often start to ask myself...where did he learn this awful behavior? Have I done something wrong? Have my parenting techniques been remiss?

And then I look at his twin brother, and say to myself, "Of course not." Because that one's turning out just fine. No violent tendencies whatsoever. So I must be doing something right, right? Granted, the other one's not perfect - take his problem-solving skills, for example:

"Want...to drink...the milk... Can't...drop...the snack bowl..."

But that's the nice thing about the control-group / test-group theory. At any given moment, you only need one twin to act appropriately. It's not your fault if one of them is badly behaved /acting like a weirdo - you have scientific proof right there that your parenting skills are outstanding! (FYI - the good one is always in the control-group).

And if both twins are acting badly? Well, then the nice thing about having twins is that people will just feel sorry for you. Never underestimate a good dose of pity - it can be a lifesaver when you go out to dinner and the control-group spills his milk after the test-group already ran out of french fries.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Pieces of Me

My daughter and I are complete opposites.

She is a brunette with thick curls and blue eyes. A social butterfly. And absolutely fearless. She never stops moving - she is on 'all systems go' from the moment she wakes up until she crashes to sleep at the end of the day.

I am a hazel-eyed blonde who couldn't even get a perm to take. An introvert who is afraid of far too many things to list in this space. And oh, how I love a good nap.

We are so different.

So how can it be...that we fit together so well?

I guess some things are just meant to be.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Deep Thoughts by Facebook

I took the "What's your stress level?" quiz on Facebook the other day.

Apparently my life is 97% stressful. Yikes. How could that possibly be????


Oh yeah, that's right. I have three kids. And a career. And a husband in school. And a mortgage. (Don't let the cuteness fool you...scenes like the above tend to degenerate very quickly).

As I was scrolling down the list of questions, filling in one stressful answer after the other, I knew I wasn't doing well. But then I got to the final question, which was "Your romantic partner...", and I thought oooh, I'm gonna kick ass on this part of the test. Scott rocks!

But then I stopped short when I reviewed the list of multiple choice answers:

Your romantic partner...

(a) brings you joy and stress
(b) is the love of your life
(c) knows exactly which of your buttons to push
(d) is non existent because you don't have time
(e) is your soulmate

I was about to fill in (b), but then I saw (e) down on the list.

Well, now, isn't that a conundrum. Does facebook think the love of your life can't be your soulmate? That it has to be one or the other? Is having a soulmate more/less stressful than having a love of your life? Or vice versa? And why am I giving this much credence to a facebook quiz?

I didn't know which one to pick. I should have gone back and filled it out both ways just to find out if one option was more stressful than the other. But when you're 97% stressed, you only have time to take those quizzes once, tops.

Oh well. I figure you can't go wrong with either a soulmate or love of your life, right? Facebook only gives it a 3% differential, anyhow.

Stay tuned for more deep thoughts inspired by facebook quizzes. For example, if Facebook tells me I should move to Ohio....should I? (probably not). And, should my Barbie name really be "Sassy Barbie"? (probably.)

Rhyme Time

Last night, I decided to teach Ashley about rhyming.


Me: Hey, let's rhyme some words!

Ashley: Okay.

Me: Do you know what rhyming is? It's when two different words sound the same.

Ashley: Oh-kaaaay....

Me: Like dog and log. And frog! And cat and hat! Got it?

Ashley: Yup. Mommy, what rhymes with eggs?

Me: Hmmm....legs!

Ashley: No, mommy. That's not rhyming.

Me: Yes it is.

Ashley: No, mommy. A chicken rhymes with eggs.

Me: No, it doesn't. A chicken lays eggs - it doesn't rhyme with eggs.

Ashley: What rhymes with chicken?

Me: Uh....lickin'? Chicken is finger lickin' good!

Ashley: Mommy, you don't lick a chicken.

Me: Well, true. But it still rhymes.

Ashley: No, mommy. You have a mommy chicken, a daddy chicken, eggs, and then the baby chickens. And that's rhyming.


I think my three year old just unknowingly taught me about the birds and the bees. That was unexpected. And all I wanted to do was rhyme.

I guess it will have to wait for another time.