I told you she was a good negotiator.
She's a smart one, that Ashley. Although she does need to work on her expletive placement.
1. Bed and Breakfastes are Freaking ScaryI had non-stop work/meeting/dinner/drink plans from the moment I arrived in town that morning, so I didn't have a chance to check in until almost 9:00 pm. No biggie, right?
Yes, no biggie. That is, unless your bed & breakfast looks like a charming victorian house by day, but morphs into a freaking scary ass haunted house at night. I about peed my pants walking up the darkened walkway looking at the turrets and the shadows and what the hell - are those gargoyles? And then I had to bang on a door-knocker to summon the "innkeeper" before they would let me inside. How flipping scary is that?!
2. Communal Television
I had a tv in my room....but it was teensy tiny. Like so small I could have picked it up off the dresser and put it on the bed right in front of me, and I still would have had to squint my eyes to see whether Ryan Seacrest was having a good or a bad hair day. The *BIG TV* was located down in the communal "family room" of the B&B.
Please - I finally have the opportunity to watch TV where I'm not being pestered constantly to change it to Dora, Diego, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, etc., and they expect me to SHARE it with others??? Screw that. I'll just play on the internet, instead.
3. Except, No Free Wireless Internet
Damn. The B&B makes you pay for internet service!! Well that doesn't seem friendly, now, does it? What kind of a B&B is this?
4. No Digital Clocks
Apparently, digital clocks are not charming enough for B&B's. Therefore, they put little old tick-tock clocks on your bedside table. Little tick-tock clocks that make lots of tick-tock noises. Little tick-tock noises that you can't drown out with the sound of the teensy tiny tv. Tick-tock noises that drive you to the brink of insanity in the middle of the night until you desperately try to pry the battery out because you.just.can't....TAKE IT ANYMORE!
5. Fluffy Towels
Okay, this one sounds weird. But I gotta say, there's something reassuring about the towels in a typical hotel...you know the ones - they're too small, starched out, sparkling white and kinda feel like sandpaper?? You know that those towels have had the HELL washed out of them. Chemicals galore, bleach, you name it. And even if they aren't washed in such a thorough manner, they're so small and non-absorbant I can't imagine anything nefarious could survive in them for long.
But B&B's on the other hand, have nice, big fluffy towels. That are darker colors...like brown. That could hide all sorts of stains. That might have been washed with the cheapo detergent on-sale from the local discount shop. With nice floofy nooks and crannies just waiting to incubate anything nasty that might come its way. Shudder.
6. I'm Not a Breakfast Person
Really, I don't need a B&B. Just a B will do.
Provided that the B is at a Hyatt, or Sheraton, or Marriott, or heck, even the Super 8.
But it will be cold again tomorrow. Boo, Sunday.
(By "bad boys", I mean the motorcycles. I'm sure the models in the picture are perfectly lovely little boys. And plus that would be weird if I bought little boys for a birthday present. Although the twins could use some friends, I guess.)
Scott and I were smart and assembled the motorcycles the night before the twins' birthday so they could start scooting around on them at first sight. All right, fine...Scott put them together all by himself. BUT, it was my idea to do it. I'm the brains and he's the muscle behind this operation. Together we're unstoppable!
The boys loved them....and so did Ashley, poor thing. Unfortunately for her, she was relegated to the role of traffic cop until the boys got distracted by the birthday waffles we made for them. (Don't be impressed...making "birthday waffles" around these parts consists of saying "Happy Birthday!" while we toast an Eggo waffle).Sorry the picture is blurry...I was going for the "speed demon blur effect" like the advertisement above and ended up with "Boy, this girl doesn't know how to use the manual functions on her camera now, does she?"