Monday, December 28, 2009

The Greatest Preschool Christmas Pageant Ever

Oy, what a Christmas.  I suppose I'll get to recapping it one of these days.

But first, I must tell the tale of the "Greatest Preschool Christmas Pageant Ever," starring who else but my favorite four-year old...Ashley.

Scott and I had known the Christmas pageant was in the works for awhile, mainly because it was highlighted via various handouts sent home over the course of the month, which is helpful for parents like us who forget to read the monthly calendar until the last minute.  That being said, the handouts merely confirmed what we already suspected, since the school had also hosted little shindigs for Halloween and Thanksgiving.   Both of those were very simple affairs, with the kids basically lining up and singing songs with various hand motions and the like, so we expected the same from the Christmas pageant.  We tried to ask Ashley about it, but she wouldn't spill anything.  The closest I got to getting any deets was when she messed up and sang twinkle twinkle "Christmas Star" instead of "Little Star" when we were singing the boys to sleep one night. 

"Aha!  So they taught you to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Christmas Star" for the preschool pageant!"

"No mommy, I just know that song all by myself."

She is a tough nut to crack, that Ashley.

Speaking of nuts, we were also supposed to bring cookies for the little party that they were planning to hold after the Christmas pageant was over.  But because the preschool is a peanut-free zone, Scott and I struggled mightily in selecting which type of cookie to bring.  We dug out the preschool handbook and tried to make heads or tails out of what kinds of cookies were prohibited - could we bake our own nut-less cookies?  But look here, it says something about how snacks need to be pre-packaged.  But this is a cookie party, not snack time.  But do we want to be responsible for inflicting peanut injuries on Christmas?  What about those nice packages of store bakery cookies - do those count as pre-packaged?   Maybe we should stick to a snack cookie...just to be safe.  But shouldn't we bring something nicer than a snack cookie??  It's the Christmas pageant for crying out loud!!

Who knew preschool could be so complicated.

Eventually, we settled on a box of Nilla Wafers.  Which seemed like a perfectly logical and safe choice, until I actually put the wafers on my decorative plastic plate and realized just how pathetic they looked.  After a hotly contested internal debate, I decided I'd rather be the lame mom who "forgot" to bring cookies to the Christmas pageant instead of the lame mom who brought a box of Nilla Wafers and called it a day. And I stand by that choice, because the cookie selection at the party would have made my Nilla Wafer tray look very sad indeed.  Let me tell you, it was quite a spread.  I'm sure they were all delicious, too, but I don't know for sure since I didn't eat any - I may be lame, but I'm not a mooch.  Also, I knew I had a plateful of Nilla Wafers back home waiting for me.

But prior to the post-pageant party, we had to first make it through the pageant itself.  Once we were seated, Scott passed me the program with a smile on his face and said:

"Did you see who Ashley's playing?"

I smiled back at him and thought, oh my gosh, the kids are actually going to put on a little play???  I just thought they were going to sing songs!  My mind started to run wild...could it be, that Ashley was given the role coveted by Catholic little girls all over the world?  Could she be...I could barely contain my excitement here...Mary, the mother of baby Jesus himself???  She has the long brown hair, she certainly doesn't suffer from stage fright, and she's kinda/sorta gentle with her baby made perfect sense!  Ashley was going to be Mary!  (Although I'm mostly non-practicing now, Catholicism was burned into my brain at an early age.  Therefore, the thought of playing Mary in a nativity scene is only slightly less exciting to me than the thought of appearing in a starring role on Broadway.  And yes, I feel guilty for writing that).

I scanned the program, looking for Ashley's name.  But what's this?  A little girl named Hannah is playing Mary.  Hmph.  I'm sure her mother is very proud.  Well, fine, Ashley is too young to play a pregnant lady anyway...maybe next year.  I bet she's an angel.  Look, there's Mackenzie from Ashley's class...she's an angel.  Where's Ashley's name?  Huh, I guess she's not an angel.  Is she a shepherd?  The innkeeper?  A wise man?

Then I saw my baby's name waaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page, listed under the following role:

Door Slammer

Yes, a door slammer.  I did not know "door slammers" were included in the story of Jesus's birth.  Apparently that part was left out when I was in Catholic school.  I only had a few moments to ponder what a door slammer might be doing at a nativity scene, when the play started.

I soon realized that a door slammer was essentially a sound effects person, as every time someone entered or left the innkeeper's abode Ashley slammed two blocks together to make a big "door slamming" noise.  Let me tell you, it was a key part of the action.  Without that sound effect, the audience wouldn't have known that the innkeeper was getting crabby at the shepherds and wisemen et al. who kept stopping by to ask for directions to the stable.  And if we didn't know that the innkeeper was crabby, we wouldn't have fully appreciated his change of heart when he realized, lo and behold, it was baby jesus who was causing all the hoopla. 

I had to admit, Ashley was perfectly casted.  The enthusiasm with which she slammed those blocks together, the glint in her eye as the sound echoed throughout the was as if she was born to play the role of the door slammer.  I wonder how her teachers knew???? 

Wait...don't answer that.


Helene said...

You totally crack me up!! Sounds like Ashley got the role she was born to play!!

I know what you mean about the pressures of bringing a snack. Cole and Bella both got to be VIP for a week in their kindergarten class where parents need to supply the snacks every day of the week. Oh man, the pressure...I was asking the kids, "Okay, what do the other kids' parents provide for snack??" I had to buy things that would compare. Goldfish and graham crackers simply wouldn't do!!

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday!

Kisha said...

That's great! I have a daughter or two that would be awesome door slammers as well!

Stopping by from SITS, love your site!


JDaniel4's Mom said...

My son has just discovered door and closing them. What a great idea to add sound effects to the play.

The Blonde Duck said...

Popped in from SITS to say hi! What a cute story!

The Lane Family said...

First off I am so with you on the snack issue and everything you CAN"T bring...kudo's to those mom's who figure it out and for the rest of us well...thank heavens for nilla wafers and wafer cookies with sugar feeling :)

That is so sweet that Ashley got the part of Mary..I think having brown hair helps and if she is nice to her dolls most of the time that is a bonus!!! I always wanted that part and never got it...maybe I should have not cut my dolly's hair :)

LOUD n PROUD said...

haha,that was great!I have a couple of great door slammers here.
stopping by from SITS

MelissaKell said...

Oh that is hysterical. PERFECT part for Miss Ashley! :-)

mrs. buckster said...

oh my goodness, i am laughing out loud all to myself here! she seriously says the cutest/most funny stuff ever! and no story is complete without a door slammer. well, @ our house anyway.