Sunday, September 27, 2009

Golf and Guilt

I was a solo parent this weekend. On Friday night, Scott headed off to a random destination in Missouri mid-way between our home and his little brother's home, where he and said little brother proceeded to play 90 freaking holes of golf for the duration of the weekend.

90 holes of golf! In 48 hours! That's plain nuts, people. But I guess when it's $29 for unlimited golf all day long, you take advantage of it. Or so I hear, because I am not a golfer.

The last time I played golf was the summer of 2001, when I was a summer associate at a well-known firm in the Show-Me State. It was one of the most dreadful experiences of my life.

There I was, this little 25 year old naive blondie, trying to act smart and what-not and convince these big scary attorneys that I was worthy of a job offer post-law-school-graduation. I was holding my own all summer - producing good work, not saying anything too dumb, showing up on time, etc. etc. All was good.

Until the mid-summer golf scramble with the litigation department.

Me: I don't know how to play golf. Do I have to go?

Jill, from the recruiting department: Well, if you don't go, it will look weird. And don't worry - it's a group scramble. It's totally not competitive!

And because I was a naive little 25 year old blondie, I believed Jill.

But Jill was wrong. Jill was very wrong. I got placed in a team of 3 extremely competitive litigation associates and partners. Who were all men. Who loved golf. Who had won the mid-summer litigation department golf scramble last year and were aching for the taste of sweet victory once again.

Now, because it was a scramble, I didn't actually bring our team score down. I just didn't help it in any way whatsoever. Which was fine. But oh, how humiliating it was. By the third hole, nobody even got out of the cart anymore when it was my turn. I wasn't sure what the point tee off 1, 2, to ladies tee...megan hops out...guys stay in cart...megan swings and misses...megan swings and misses again....megan says "okay, is that enough tries?" grunt and megan hops back in cart. And this went on for eighteen holes.

Did I mention that it was 102 degrees out that day? AND, I had to wear a shirt with a collar. Oh, misery!

I've never picked up a golf club again.

But I'm glad Scott loves golf, because he certainly deserved a weekend of fun and relaxation, considering all he does around here. And although I missed him terribly, I wasn't upset at all that I was here solo with 3 kids all weekend. 3 sick kids. Who decided to revert back to the newborn era and wake up every two hours during the night. I just wanted him to have fun. And I'm so glad that he did.

And that has nothing to do with the fact that my own girls' weekend is only a couple weeks away. I swear. Although I will say, a girls' weekend with guilt not included is absolutely priceless.


Lani said...

My husband is a former golf pro.. I tried to get into it, I really did. It takes wayyyyy to long. I know now that golf was invented for husbands to get a nice long break. Why is it that women don't have anything that takes 8 hours (when you count travel time, lunch, the 19th hole, "the backups", yada, yada, yada)

Don't forget to stop by my Blog For A Cure Blog party this week!

Sadia said...

Enjoy your girls' weekend! My in-laws will be taking my girls for a week or two soon; we've never been apart overnight before. I'm a little nervous, but looking forward to it. And yes, it will be guilt-free.