Sunday, May 24, 2009

Parenting Dilemmas

When your three year old daughter repeatedly gets out of bed at night, some parenting experts might tell you that it's time to get tough. Especially when said three year old won't let her two-year old little brothers fall asleep either. Because she climbs into their cribs. And sings at the top of her lungs. And towel whips them with her blanket.

But I wouldn't know, because being a parent to three kids aged three and under means you don't have time to purchase parenting books, let alone read them. Or even if you do have time to read them, you certainly don't have the time to comprehend them. And the sleep books are the worst - I remember desperately trying to read Weissbluth when the twins were babies. I didn't understand a word of it. The only person it put to sleep in this house was me, which didn't help much because I only got about two hours before the twins woke me up again.

So since we are lacking in both time and reading comprehension skills, Scott and I just wing it the best we can.

Let's take tonight, for example.

1. Your daughter has been running around upstairs for the past 15 minutes. You yell up various warnings, then finally make your way up there to give her a stern talking-to. You walk in her room, only to find her drawing squares on an etch-a-sketch while wearing a santa hat. Do you:

(a) Proceed with the stern talking-to.

(b) Congratulate her for knowing her shapes.

(c) Remove the first santa hat, only to find a second santa hat underneath it, and a third santa hat underneath that - then you start laughing, because come on! Three santa hats? That's funny.

2. After taking the santa hats away, you head back downstairs only to hear your daughter start to run around again. Your husband handles this one. When he asks "WHAT are you doing up there?", she responds "I'm putting M&M's in your room for when the sun comes up, daddy!" Do you:

(a) Go upstairs and give her a stern talking-to.

(b) Investigate how she got her hands on M&M's at 9:30 pm.

(c) Think to yourself, "Mmm, candy for breakfast."

3. After expressing pride that your daughter is finally starting to share (and with candy, no less!), you get her settled back into bed only to hear her hollering in the hallway a few moments later. When you tell her to go back to bed, she says "I have a present for daddy!" Do you:

(a) Go upstairs and give her a stern talking-to.

(b) Get extremely nervous about what the "present" might be.

(c) Yell upstairs that going to sleep would be the best present she could ever give her daddy.

4. It is now 10:43 pm. Your daughter yells down the stairs at you that her sheet fell off her bed. There is a 99.99% probability that she put it on the floor on purpose. Do you:

(a) Go upstairs and give her a stern talking-to.

(b) Go upstairs and tuck her back into bed.

(c) Yell upstairs that you'll turn the air conditioner down so she doesn't need it.

(In case it's not obvious, we picked (c) every time.)

And there you go. It only took 3 hours to get her to fall asleep. I mean, really - who needs Weissbluth when you've got stellar parenting skills like us?? Right??


Traci Feit Love said...

I am loving your multiple choice questions and your blog in general. Thanks for a good laugh :)

Brandi said...

I have to stop reading your blog at work.. I start snickering and giggling like a GOOFBALL and everyone stares at me weird.. :) But I love it!!

Anonymous said...

Can I say again that Ash is way too freakin' cute! She's gonna make one fine woman.

Marcie said...

Oh my goodness... that was FUNNY! Man, can I relate! My 7 year old is STILL a terrible sleeper... and the twins... I can't even think about the twins and sleep... it makes me twitch! At least you can laugh at it :)

Megan said...

Traci - Thanks! I'm always trying to find something to laugh about - otherwise I'd probably just cry. :-p

Brandi - Hee hee! Hopefully reading my blog at work will not cause you any "career limiting moves", similar to what Ashley subjected me to a few weeks ago. Aye yi yi.

R - Thanks lady! I think she's fab, but I know I'm biased.

Marcie - Hi there!! Thanks for commenting! :-) Oy - you have me worried now that my 3 year old will still not be a good sleeper at 7. There has to be a good phase in between now and the teenage years, right? RIGHT?? Hee!

Anonymous said...

joe and i are are sitting here laughing are such a good writer..and your kiddos give you the funniest things to write about..and boy is that one awesome camera!!
love anna

Megan said...

Thanks Anna!! And I miss you! :-)

keanetwins said...

Our Mama picked B. Is that bad? Should we be worried about Discipline? It's better than A, after all!