Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Bee Not Afraid

Yesterday was a gorgeous day here in Nebraska, so when I got home from work I threw our french doors open and let the kids roam in and out of the house as they pleased. The boys were so excited that they refused to sit at the table to eat dinner.

"Who could eat egg salad at a time like this?", I'm sure they were thinking as I put their lovingly prepared meal on the table in front of them. Then when my back was turned, they hightailed it out to the backyard.

I convinced Ashley to stay put by engaging in questionable parenting practices - I promised her strawberry ice cream. With chocolate syrup.

She reluctantly accepted the terms of our arrangement (i.e., eat your dinner first), but eventually plowed through and was enormously pleased with herself that she would be getting strawberry ice cream for finishing her meal while her brothers would not.

(I said a silent prayer that the boys would remain outside during the strawberry ice cream portion of the evening, since I have not yet figured out how to say "No ice cream unless you finish your dinner!" in monkey language).

So I headed to the freezer to get the ice cream, when the unthinkable happened.

A bee flew into the house.

A bee!

I grabbed Ashley and we ran to the hallway to take cover. She said "Where are the boys, mommy?" And I replied "It's too late for them - we have to save ourselves!" I stood there, panicked, watching the bee circle our family room, and weighed our options:

1. Run for the backyard. Shut the door behind us, thus trapping the bee inside until Scott got home from school to fumigate the house.

2. Text Scott and tell him he needs to get out of class ASAP and come home because our house had been invaded by a swarm of angry wasps (you have to make it dramatic if you want fast action, right?)

3. Do nothing, and pray like hell that the bee manages to find its way out of the house through the still-open french doors.

4. Take a deep breath, find the fly swatter and try to kill it dead.

I still can't believe it myself, but I went for Option #4.

I found the fly swatter conveniently placed on the counter within arm's reach, got some final words of advice from Ashley ("Hit it with that, mommy"), took a deep breath, started my approach, and...

...the bee flew out the door.

Oh, thank goodness. I don't think I had it in me.

Next item on the Home Depot list: Screen doors.


MelissaKell said...

Too funny! A couple of years ago we got a bee in our house too but I wasn't as brave as you. (I'm allergic.) Actually, I completely freaked out, which I think has scared Becca about bees/bugs ever since. Sigh. Anyway, I called Dave, then headed to McDonald's for dinner with Becca, where I calld his mother (whose bday it was to say happy bday) and she gave me good advice - to spray the bee with hair spray and that kills it. I did that when we got home (before Dave). Ugh, I hated doing it, but I also hate going to the Emergency Room. Luckily, we haven't had a bee in the house since!

Glad you had a nice night, though. :-)

Brandi said...

Ok--Ashley's advice? I just snorted cheap gas station cappucino out of my nose from laughing... it hurts.. :) VERY FUNNY!!!

Traci Feit Love said...

Thanks for making me laugh today! We had a bee in my daughter's room last week but luckily my husband was around to do the dirty work. I was glad I didn't have to get up the courage to take care of it myself (and sort of embarrassed to admit that I am scared of a little bee).

Megan said...

Melissa - Weren't you scared to go back into the house not knowing where it would be??!! That was my big reason for not going out to the backyard. I was afraid it would fly upstairs and hide in my bedroom and then sting me while I slept. Yes, I'm neurotic (and I can't even blame it on allergies). Thanks for the hairspray tip - I will definitely remember that next time!

Brandi - Ashley is always full of helpful advice - maybe next time she will just swat it for me. ;-)

Traci - Bees scare the crap out of me, and I am not ashamed to admit it! Luckily my husband is used to me by now - he was shocked that I had the cajones to try and swat it myself. No need to be embarassed around these parts - this is a judgment-free-blog, especially when it comes to fear of the insect-world. :-)