Sunday, August 10, 2008

Negative Independence

Ah, look at those faces....

So innocent, so sweet....they couldn't possibly give their perpetually exhausted twinmama any trouble, right???


These two are high maintenance. Man, they have gotten independent in the last week or so, and not in the good kind of way. We certainly don't have any twins dressing themselves, or taking a stab at early potty-training or anything constructive like that. My boys are experiencing what I would call "Negative Independence," which is a clinical term I invented just now:

Negative Independence [neg-uh-tiv in-di-pen-duhns]
1. lacking in constructiveness, helpfulness, optimism, cooperativeness, or the like in expressing your freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others;
2. syndrome that can drive twinmama's to the brink of insanity;
3. used as in "Boy, Negative Independence really blows."

Wow, now that is a spot-on definition.

Take, for example, my day today. I got up, got the boys out of bed and said, "let's go downstairs and eat breakfast!!" The boys love breakfast. So Aidan is all smiles and giggles, follows me out into the hallway, and then thinks to himself "Hey, what can make breakfast even better??? I know!!! My binky and lovey, that's what!" So he books it on back to his room and starts wrestling his binky and lovey through the slats of his crib.

So I say, "No, no, Aidan...binky and lovey are for bedtime, not breakfast," and pry them back from his chubby little fingers and toss them back in the crib.

And that's when Aidan got pissed. Ooh, he gave me a nasty look and marched straight back to his room to get his lovey and binky for the second time.

By this time I was halfway down the stairs with Owen, who was sliding down backwards on his belly and tends to think he's done one or two steps early, so I couldn't go back up to take away lovey and binky again. So I made the mistake of using my serious twinmama voice to say, "Aidan, I said NO. Put binky and lovey back right now." The only problem with using the "serious twinmama" voice is that I have an almost-3 year old who takes great pleasure in enforcing it whenever possible. So Ashley hears me, runs back up the stairs, grabs said lovey and binky from Aidan, and says "NO, BOYS!!!! NO lovey and binky, hmph!!!"

And that's when Aidan got really pissed.

Oh, man. I waited for him at the bottom of the stairs and he slid down all the way on his belly, and then plopped himself down on the floor and proceeded to FREAK OUT. Not even the offer of a strawberry cereal bar could coax him into the kitchen. Not a great way to start out a Saturday morning.

And the negative independence episodes just kept coming and coming for the rest of the's totally like multiple personality disorder. They're happy one second, and then the next second they go into freak-out mode: "I want to cuddle on the couch with you, mommy, but I didn't want you to help me climb up, DAMMIT!!" "I want to eat my yummy waffle, but on the FLOOR not in my high chair, DAMMIT!!!" "I want to hand you this remote control, but so you'll turn on Sesame Street not the Olympics, DAMMIT!!" "I love to play in the sandbox, but only so I can throw sand in my brother's eye, DAMMIT!!"

You get the picture. Sheesh, I hope this phase goes by quickly.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Comment from the momdy (husband)

Personally I am enjoying the negative independence the boys are going through. Pulling my hair out fistfuls at a time will eventually lead to baldness which inevitably will give me one less thing to worry about each day. Another benefit of the negative independence is that I will never have to worry about being overweight because I regularly forget to each lunch. Life is easy during the negative independence stage.