Sunday, July 27, 2008

Ashley and the Tale of the Invisible Thorn

Ever since I had Ashley, I've wanted to write a series of children's books about her adventures. Whenever she does something I think is particularly cute or funny or interesting, I say to myself "Ooh, that book could be called "Ashley and the _________ [insert whatever it is that she's doing]".

This weekend, the book would be called "Ashley Belle and the Tale of the Invisible Thorn."

Ashley is not the best sleeper in the world. Lately, she's been using a number of bedtime stalling techniques, including melting down into hysterics unless we read her a book as part of her routine. I like to keep the book short and simple, but there's only so much Sandra Boynton I can take. So I thought to myself, "Hey, I'm creative! I'll just make up some stories to tell her."

Of course, I ran out of creative ideas for stories the third night in. So I resorted to my faulty memory of various children's fables, and one night decided to try out that one involving the lion and the thorn. I really cannot remember how it's supposed to go...but I know I told her the lion was a meanie, he had a thorn in his paw, a mouse helped him get it out, and then they went off and had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches together.

Since then, she has become OBSESSED with thorns...not with lions, or mice, or even the moral of the story. Apparently all she took away from it was that your skin can be punctured with various sharp objects at any given moment. And this obsession comes out at completely random times. Like we're all sitting at the breakfast table, happily sipping our various morning beverages and eating our cereal bars and then all of a sudden she'll say "Ah boo hoo hoo!! Ah boo hoo hoo!!" (Yes, my daughter actually fake cries by saying "ah boo hoo hoo!") So we'll say "What's wrong, honey?" and nine times out of ten she'll respond "I have a thorn in my ______ [insert various body part here]." Or I'll hear an "Ouch, ouch!!!!" followed closely by a "Mommy, help!!!!!" and run into the room only to find a little sad-faced Ashley, with her finger outstretched saying "I have a thorn in my finger. Ah boo hoo hoo."

So apparently I need to tone down the violence in my bedtime story-telling. Good thing I hadn't started writing those children's books yet. ;-)

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