Sunday, June 1, 2008

Oh Pergola, Pergola...wherefore art thou, Pergola?

Now, when I think of a pergola, I think of a beautiful, outdoor seating area...with lights, and a little bonfire pit, and comfy seating, and maybe, if you're really lucky and have a husband who knows something about electrical work, a ceiling fan. Something like this...

Lovely, no??

Now, my husband, on the other hand, thinks a pergola looks something like this...

Yeah, that's the big stack of wood that's been sitting on my back patio for the last two days. So not much progress has been made on the pergola this weekend. The delay has mostly been caused by having too many children running around, needing to clean the house, my need for a nap this afternoon and S's softball game this evening. And of course, a few little miscommunications between me and S along the way...

When S and I first started talking about the pergola, we decided we would build it to look just like our neighbor's...attached to the house out the backyard, with a nice flat roof, but painted white with a ceiling fan. S is a carpenter, framed houses way back in the day, and knows a thing or two about electrical work. So a pergola should be no problem, right?

It all started out great, until S tells me all of a sudden that he can't do the ceiling fan. He says it's because it will be too hard to wire and will cost more money than I want to spend. But I think it's really because he's afraid that since it's an outdoor fan, it will get wet the next time there's a thunderstorm and it may result in him getting electrocuted. He has an unnatural fear of getting electrocuted via thunderstorm.

Then, S tells me that the wood he bought is "waterlogged", and therefore we can't paint it white until a year from now. I had no idea that wood could be so waterlogged that it can't accept paint for an entire YEAR, but he swears to me that it's a common occurence. But I'm not entirely convinced because I know S HATES to paint, and avoids it at all costs. He hates it so much, that I am always on pins and needles whenever we paint a room in our house because there are no second chances or re-do's. I have to make sure that the original paint chip I select is absolutely, 100% the right color...because S does NOT, I repeat NOT, repaint rooms.

Last and most important, S asks me this morning...

S: Now did you want the pergola to have a slanted roof or a flat roof?

Me: Umm, a flat roof. Just like the neighbors. Like we agreed.

S: Are you sure you don't want it to have a slanted roof?

Me: Ummm, yes.

S: Really?

Me: silence

S: Because I bought the wrong size posts and now the roof needs to be slanted. But don't worry, it will look awesome!

Sensing that I was not entirely convinced, S drove me past a house in our neighborhood that has a slanted pergola in the backyard so I could check out how awesome it would be. I was NOT impressed. By that time, I'd grown attached to my vision of a beautiful, flat-roofed pergola. The slanty pergola looked like a garden shed...I did not have any visions of BBQ pits and globe lights when I looked at it...I only had visions of shovels and rakes and head injuries from bumping your head on the slope.

So S, being the wonderful husband that he is, agreed to exchange the posts for the correct size, even though it meant uninstalling all of the carseats from the backseat of his truck so he could extend the bed, hauling the huge wrong-sized posts back to Home Depot, rehauling even huger correct posts back and losing out on a huge chunk of prime pergola-building time in the process.

But in the long run, I think it was worth it. Well, I hope so at least. The thing isn't built yet, so I'm sure there will be more snafu's to come.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If Joe ever attempted to build a pergola it would always look like a big pile of wood...and I would get no chance of any suggestions...I cant wait to see the pics when it is all done